Page 21

I wanted that so much it physically hurt.

But all I had right now was Clarence, so in a weak and desperate moment, I’d agreed to a second date. Hoping it would go better, hoping I’d just been feeling off the night of our first one and he was actually amazing. Hoping I’d turn up, take one look at him and for some unknown, magical reason, want to drag him home with me.

None of that had happened.

I was still hopeful, though. Painfully, pathetically, desperately hopeful. It was still early in the evening, and we were in a swanky cocktail bar this time—one that did not have a tempting glory hole; I’d already checked—so maybe tonight would go better.

Except… if I really let myself think about it objectively… I already knew it wouldn’t.

I was trying so, so freaking hard to like Clarence, but I was reaching the point where I was simply unable to see any good through the bad. Every moment spent with him just hammered home what I already subconsciously knew: This was not going to work. It just wasn’t.

He was smarmy. And cocky. And he didn’t actually listen to me, he just waited for me to stop talking so he could continue. I’d pointed out yet again tonight that my name wasn’t Niko, and he was still calling me that.

Plus, he lustily eyed up every single man who walked past our table. I didn’t really care, because I wasn’t interested in him, but it was still pretty rude.

I’d only given that hot guy at the bar the other night a very brief smile—just a friendly one—and the handjob in the bathroom with glory hole guy didn’t even count, so I had every right to say that it was just plain rude to openly check out other people on a date.

I wasn’t attracted to him at all, but it wasn’t about looks. It wasn’t like Clarence was hideous. I didn’t really think that about anyone—people just looked the way they looked, and there was always beauty in that—but I was a firm believer in someone’s personality and demeanour showing through on their face.

That was what made Clarence unattractive to me. Because I could see the smarmy cockiness, the lack of interest in me as a person, the smug self-interest, the love of hearing himself talk.

Plus, there was the billy goat beard, which just did not do it for me in the slightest. So maybe it was a little about looks too.

Realising I’d yet to answer his creepy and inappropriate erotic dream question, I fixed a stiff smile on my face and pushed the little bowl of olives closer to him. “You finish these.”

I’d been the one to suggest we come to a bar this time, not a restaurant, but I’d still been hungry, so I’d ended up ordering nibbles with our drinks. I’d also made sure we didn’t go back to Gargy’s, with its delightful glory hole, just because I’d been determined to give him and this second date a fair chance. But after Clarence had spent several minutes trying to hand-feed me olives and slices of chorizo while I pressed my lips together in a thin line and angled my head away until he finally gave up, I was no longer hungry.

Clarence blinked in surprise and looked down at the bowl, then slowly glanced back up at me as a little smirk tilted his lips. He leaned in again, lowering his voice to the purr that someone must have, at some point and for some unknown reason, told him was sexy. It wasn’t.

“In a hurry to get me alone, Niko?”

I managed another brief smile. “Just being polite.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to be polite tonight,” he whispered loudly, then picked up an olive and dragged it over his lips slowly, in a way that was clearly supposed to be alluring, while I watched on in horror.

Keep an open mind. Keep an open mind. I’d been chanting it to myself all evening. And I was starting to worry that sheer willpower was not actually enough to make me attracted to Clarence.

Pursing his lips into a little O, Clarence used a fingertip to slowly push the olive between them until it popped inside, followed by his finger, which he dragged back out seductively.

I leaped up from the table. “Another drink?” My voice was a hoarse croak, and Clarence seemed to think it was lust-induced, because he smirked up at me as he chewed the olive and twirled his long beard.

“Trying to get me tipsy, my little incu-baby?”

I had to take a deep breath.

“Of course not.” Somehow, I managed a light laugh, then didn’t wait for his response before turning to swiftly head for the bar.

I just needed a tiny break from him. That was normal, right? We barely knew each other. It would be weird if I was desperate to spend the entire evening with him on our date. That was weird. Everyone needed little breaks from their date mid-date.

Leaning my elbows on the bar, I studiously ignored the many glances I was getting from other patrons. Especially the humans. Just wasn’t worth it.

And I could feel the energy pouring off each person who was eyeing me up. Just lust. It was always just lust.

When Clarence had approached me in the grocery store, his energy had been a mix of lust and something else, something sharper—something closer to what I usually felt—which was why I’d agreed to a date. Now I was wondering if that had been desperation. Lucifer knew that was what I was feeling most of the time.

Fuck, was Clarence as desperate as I was to find love? But if that was the case, why was he so… like that?

Except now I was feeling kind of bad for him. Was he just searching for his person, like me? That was pretty romantic. Maybe we were kindred spirits or something.