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As he trailed off, I tried to stop my mouth from tilting down. He didn’t need to say it. I already knew.

I was boring. A safe option. Unintimidating, because I was just quiet, reliable Seb who did crossword puzzles and kept my distance and didn’t strut around in skimpy panties or wrestle professionally for my career.

A rush of defiant anger burned in my chest. I needed to turn this ludicrous idea down for my own self-respect. I needed to be the adult here and tell Larkin he should lose his virginity to the person he really wanted and not care about how much experience they may have over him. Sex wasn’t a competition. He didn’t need to score points. He didn’t need to know any special tricks or complicated moves to be good at it.

But something was stopping me. In the awkward silence, Cora snorted in her sleep and kicked her little legs like she was chasing something in her dream.

“Look, just forget it,” Larkin blurted, his voice thick with embarrassment. “It was just an idea—”

“Alright.”

He sucked in a breath so fast he almost choked. My whole body had gone numb as I realised what I’d just said. As I realised I’d actually just agreed to this ridiculous proposal.

To be Larkin’s fuckletics instructor.

To take his virginity.

To teach him how to have sex.

Fuck.

“Seriously?” he croaked, voice jumpy with something I couldn’t place. Was it excitement? Nerves? Horror, because he hadn’t actually thought I would say yes?

I nodded stiffly, unable to tell if I was a little breathless because I was already massively regretting this or because I was excited about what it meant.

I’d be having sex with Larkin. Touching him. Seeing him naked. Making him come. Getting to find out all the secret places on his body that made him melt, or cry out, or lose all his inhibitions and go wild.

And he’d be doing the same to me. I mean, that was what he was asking, wasn’t it? He wanted to learn how to make someone else feel good. How to suck a dick and expertly jerk someone off and make them come. He wanted me to teach him all of that.

And then he’d be going off to put all that practice to use with anyone but me.

This was going to hurt, but it seemed I was a glutton for punishment when it came to Larkin. I was weak when it came to him. And I desperately wanted to help him in any way I could, even if it meant my own heart got shredded in the process.

“But not yet,” I heard myself say, my voice echoey in my own head, like I was having an out-of-body experience. “We should both… think about this. Properly. You need to take some time to decide whether this is really what you want.”

“It is, dude,” Larkin insisted, but his voice was still unsteady with nerves. “I just want to get it out of the way. It’s, like, distracting me.”

I swallowed. “Alright, well I’m still only agreeing on the condition that we take the time to think it through first. You might change your mind now that you’ve… actually asked me.” Unable to stop myself, I curiously asked, “How long have you been thinking about this?”

He shrugged jerkily. “Like, a few hours.”

Fucking hell. He was so impulsive. But now I was worried that if I called this whole thing off, he’d run off with his new, ridiculous idea and ask someone else. Someone who wouldn’t treat him with patience and understanding. Someone who just liked the idea of being his first because it turned them on to fuck a virgin, but who didn’t actually care about him.

Someone who wasn’t me.

“Let’s take a little while to think about it,” I said with an air of calmness I absolutely was not feeling. “Just so we’re both sure this is… a good idea.” It definitely wasn’t a good idea, for multiple reasons. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” he rushed out, fidgeting with nervous energy. “Of course. I… Um, th-thank you so much, Seb. For… being cool.”

I nodded, staring down at my hands resting limply on my thighs. My fingertips were tingling. My cock was still painfully hard, but thankfully he couldn’t see that from his desk.

I’d just agreed to give Larkin sex lessons.

I already knew I wouldn’t come out the other side of this with my heart or my sanity intact.

Chapter Four

Fuckletics Instructor