Page 21

‘That’s your friend from home, right?’ he asked, pointing at the sunny picture of Ellie and Hannah grinning together in the flower market outside Ellie’s East London home.

‘Yeah, Ellie. She’d been going through a tough time, that’s why I went home. She was a lot better by the time that was taken.’ The photo had been taken a couple of days after Ellie had sorted everything out with her high-profile boyfriend, Alex. Hannah hadn’t posted any pics of Alex and Ellie because she respected their privacy too much. Even though it would have gotten her hundreds of likes and follows, she knew Ellie had had enough of social media to last her a lifetime, what with all the bad press she’d had about her relationship with Alex.

Caleb chuckled and she leaned a little closer, curious. ‘What?’

‘Your flat is—’ He paused, as if struggling to find the words. ‘Nice!’ He laughed, and she had to admit that her horrible flat did look nice, at least in the photo she’d taken.

‘I put all the lights on in the hallway and living room so that my room wouldn’t seem so dull.’

‘Or windowless.’

She nodded grimly. ‘Yeah.’

‘And it’s so tidy! The plants on the balcony aren’t dead, for a start.’

‘It was when I first moved in,’ she said. Not adding that she’d been the one to fully clean the flat, buy the plants, and set up the bistro table with its pretty tablecloth and artfully positioned pastries and orange juice. She’d hoped that by creating the perfect shot, she would somehow create the perfect home.

‘Yeah, I don’t remember it looking like that. I mean, it looks so much better here. You’re really great at photography,’ he said with an admiring shake of his head, as if he couldn’t quite believe the magic she’d performed. He scrolled further down, as if enthralled by her pictures, but it only made her feel worse, as if she were living a lie. She shifted away, uncomfortably aware of his judgement and the peppery tobacco smell of his aftershave.

‘Who’s that?’ he asked curiously, stabbing a thick finger at the screen, which only blocked her view.

She could guess who he was referring to. Patrick had done the same when he’d first seen a picture of her cousin Jules. Hannah had plenty of photos with her – surfing, kayaking, yoga, hikes, coffees, cakes, the seafood market. Caleb probably fancied Jules; she was sure Patrick had, and who could blame them? Jules was everything she wanted to be and more. Fun, interesting, stunning to look at, and of course, young.

She didn’t want to watch him admire photos of Jules, so she busied herself checking the step count on her smartwatch. The climb must have set a new record for her. ‘Jules, she’s my cousin. We did loads together before she moved to Brisbane,’ she said, stabbing at her watch with fingers that were too sweaty to register.

‘No, the guy.’

She frowned, coming back to his side again. ‘What guy—’ But the explanation died in her throat as she realised the photo he’d been pointing out wasn’t one of the many daft ones she’d created with Jules.

‘Pat Down Under?’ he asked, a slight twist of his lips as he read the name. He raised a sardonic brow. ‘Pat the Twat? Wasn’t that what Sal called him?’

Hannah’s heart lurched and then dropped to the floor.

How had he managed to abseil down her feed so quickly?

It was an image she’d considered deleting more than once – she’d deleted the others, all except this one. Ultimately, because the photo of Perth’s beach sunset had been too beautiful to delete. Besides, it was only the silhouette of their heads together. She’d spent half an hour fiddling with the tripod to get the right shot, and it was perfect, there was no denying that. She’d received hundreds of likes and follows because of it, which had made all of Patrick’s moaning worth it.

‘Sal didn’t like him. He’s a bit of a prankster – and she found him a bit much.’ She grabbed her phone back. If he managed to get any further down, he’d eventually reach her godawful first photo. The one Ellie had taken of her the night before she’d left London. When she was still old Hannah. The Hannah she pretended she’d left behind years ago, when truthfully, she’d only buried that version of herself this year. ‘We dated for a little while. He’s here for a good time, not a long time – if you know what I mean.’

‘You’re not up for a good time?’ he asked, his voice leaning into that American drawl that had sounded so sexy in school. Her heart fluttered wildly, but she put it down to the near miss of her first hideous photo. She should really delete the old Hannah for good, but sometimes she liked to dig out that photo and compare it with a more recent one to cheer herself up.

‘Of course!’ she snapped defensively. ‘But I’m describing how he was – his mantra. It was only ever going to be a short fling. That’s what we both wanted.’ The lies rolled off her tongue, but she couldn’t bear for Caleb to think of her as a dumped reject.

‘What’s your mantra?’

She breathed a sigh of relief that he’d believed her bullshit. ‘I suppose mine is to live my best life!’ She shrugged with a flirty smile, almost believing she was the carefree, confident woman she pretended to be – the type of woman that would attract someone spontaneous and exciting. Someone like Caleb.

Caleb’s head tilted to the side, his wavy hair flopping forward adorably. ‘And what does that mean?’

Hannah felt as if she’d been pickpocketed, as if she’d opened her bag and found all her possessions gone, with only a hollow empty space left behind. She bristled defensively. ‘I want to have a job that doesn’t leave me burnt out and exhausted, with no time to enjoy my days off. I want to have work–life balance so that I’m actually living and not just existing. Free time to spend with friends and loved ones. But still do a job that’s meaningful and earns enough that I can have a nice, pretty home. A place where I can enjoy a ridiculously expensive croissant and an iced coffee on a balcony whenever I wish. I want to enjoy the sunshine and the sea and not be worried about all the shit I can’t control – especially other people! And—’

She paused helplessly, unable to find any more words. She couldn’t admit the truth, could she? That she wanted someone to sit with her at the end of the day and watch the sunset with. Someone who wouldn’t moan about how he wanted to go drinking instead. Or decide at the last minute he’d rather not move into the pretty little flat she’d spent weeks finding because he didn’t want to be tied down.

Which was ironic considering she’d done the exact same thing to her best friend, Ellie. Told her she wasn’t ready to buy a flat with her, and that she wanted to emigrate to Australia and find herself instead. Fucking karma, and she deserved it!

Hannah swallowed. She couldn’t say all that, it would only prove how close she was to stepping back into her old ways, so she chose a half-truth instead. ‘I want to be independent. Not tied down to anyone or anything in particular, enjoying my life and having fun. Seeing where life takes me.’

‘Cool. So, you’re single.’