Page 19

The visit this morning was more far more vicious than the rest of them, and now I’m covered in even more bruises. The knife cuts that litter across my skin smart every time I move, sometimes reopening. Even though all of that terrifies me, it’s nothing compared to the things he’s done to my body.

I’m so…tainted.

Both inside and out.

I don’t feel like myself anymore. I want more than anything to feel safe again, for someone to pluck me from this and wipe away every part of it so it never happened.

Regrets have become a familiar feeling since being here. With only my thoughts for company, they infest my mind. Because of the way I left things with the guys, I doubt they’ll be looking for me.

I’d been so hurt and angry at the time. The hurt hasn’t gone away, but it’s made me wonder if I should’ve stayed and talked to them instead of leaving abruptly. Shit. The idea of never seeing them again has my heart splintering in my chest. Of never seeing Max’s infectious smile again, or receiving his hugs. Never seeing Bry’s brow furrow in concentration as he works on creating something perfect for me to eat, and his joy at hearing about my day. Never feeling the heat of Nate’s gaze as he watches me, always. Never feeling the safety and comfort of Noah’s words, his support.

The realisation that they’re not here and they’re likely not coming for me makes my breathing choppy and ragged.

“Nate…” I croak out on a whisper.

He’s going to come for me. I know he will. The way I left things…the others might walk away, but Nate…he won’t, right?

I can’t think like that. I need to focus on surviving long enough that someone, anyone, will notice I’m missing and find me.

I can do that. I can survive.

I…think.

The door swings open, and my body freezes, already conditioned to stay still and quiet in his presence.

“Evening, kitten. It’s been a long day at work, so I know you missed me not spending as much time with you today. But I need to work so I can take care of you, pet. Plus, I need to hire a new assistant, although she won’t be as perfect as you were,” he croons, coming to stand at the edge of the bed.

He unbuckles his trousers, and I slam my eyes shut. No part of me wants to see what he does next.

“Open your eyes. Look at me, kitten.” His hand encircles my calf, gripping and twisting over one of his previous cuts. My eyes flash open.

“Good, pet.”

A scream reverberates in my mind as he climbs onto the bed between my spread legs. His clothes are abrasive against my bare skin, a terrifying reminder of how helpless I am. He crawls up my body, and his freed length nudges against my opening. He doesn’t care that I don’t want it. I’m sure that’s what makes him enjoy this all the more.

“You’ll be here every day waiting to greet me. Being such a good, pretty kitten for me,” he whispers. He licks one of the cuts he previously inflicted, then places his mouth around it and sucks. My teeth clench at both the pain and disgust.

He groans, hips jerking against me, and something forces through my folds. My entire body clenches against the abrasive discomfort.

It takes several swallows to push back the bile, and my mind frantically tries to find a way to drift away. To snap at the binds anchoring me to my body.

As he starts spreading me wider, I find a memory to focus on. Anything to help pull me to another place.

My sunshine Max…

“Maxi, what are you doing?” I laugh, watching him hunched and creeping up behind Vivian. His jeans stretch tight around his firm legs and backside. It’s the perfect view.

“Shh, I’m trying to put her to bed. But this sassy chick is not having any of it,” he grumbles over his shoulder, then takes another slow step forward. Vivian either hasn’t noticed or is ignoring him; she carries on pecking at the ground.

“Do you need me to come in and help?” I offer, leaning on the fence and cupping my face in my hand. He’s so cute and mouth-watering to watch.

“No, I got this. How hard can it be to catch a chicken?”

I’m about to disagree when he springs forward, arms outstretched and…lands flat on the ground.

Peals of laughter escape me when he rolls onto his back. Vivian stands right next to his head, peering down at him and clucking loudly.

Still struggling to contain the giggles, I hop over the fence and prop my hands on my hips as I stand over his prone body.