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This was my only chance to do the right thing. After the shooting, I had to send her away. That night, sitting awake staring at her, I almost couldn’t bring myself to do it. I made a thousand excuses, like she’d be safer with me, she’d be happier by my side, except I knew it all was bullshit. I tasted ashes as I put together that envelope and parked her car. I felt like dying when I walked away from the ranch and came here.
If I had stayed behind, I don’t know what I would’ve done. Stopped her, maybe begged her to stay.
This is better. This is dignified.
It still hurts like hell.
There’s a rumble in the distance. I listen as an ATV gets closer. I figure it’s Lia coming to see what the hell is going on. I prepare myself, since I know my family will be upset. I have no idea how I’m going to spin this to them and to the Escalante, but I’ll find a way to make it work.
I turn when the ATV parks and the engine cuts off, but it’s not my sister coming toward me.
“No,” I whisper, heart racing, palms going numb, as Marisol rushes over and throws herself into my arms.
No, this can’t be happening. This isn’t right. She should be on the road getting as far from me as she possibly can. Everything I’ve worked for, all the hours of sacrifice, it’s all been to protect the people I love. But Mari won’t be safe unless she drives.
I wrap my arms around her, dying inside, but needing her so much it hurts.
“I had to come back,” she murmurs, face buried in my chest.
“Why?” I hate that word. What does it matter? Nothing else does now that she’s here.
“I couldn’t leave Cruz, and I couldn’t live without—” She stops herself and peels back, wiping tears from her eyes. “Why’d you do it, Bass? Why did you want to send me away?”
“I didn’t want to.” The words taste terrible. I release her and force myself to move toward the dock. Maybe it’s not too late. Maybe I can fix this. “You shouldn’t be here. I wasn’t strong enough to convince you to leave on my own. That’s why I left the note.”
“But why send me away?”
“You know why. It isn’t safe here, not right now. I can’t live with myself if another person I love dies because of me.”
She’s quiet and I stare at the water, remembering, hating myself, but still remembering.
“It’s Dario, isn’t it?” She approaches and touches my elbow. “You can tell me. He’s why you’re so protective, isn’t he? That’s why you accepted this marriage over your brothers?”
“Yes, it’s Dario.” I let out a long breath and my chest feels empty. “It’s always been him.”
“What happened?”
The words come out slowly at first, because maybe if she knows what I am, if she can see the monster she’s been married to, maybe then she’ll take the car and drive.
Dario was the best of us. We all knew it. He was being groomed to lead the family one day and nobody held that against him. But that meant our father was extra hard on him. They fought like dogs some days, bickering and arguing, always pushing against each other. Dario never backed down and Dad was the most stubborn bastard I ever met.
It happened out of nowhere. Dario stayed out late one night and got caught with the daughter of a rival family, his dick in her mouth, booze and weed in the car. Cops brought them in and her parents were livid. Dad was beyond furious with Dario, more angry than I’ve ever seen, and the next evening Dad dragged me and my older brother out to an old wood shed at the far side of the property, barely more than a shack, but we both knew what that meant.
Beat him bloody. If you hold back, I’ll go get Vince and Nico, and they’ll handle you, too. Dad watched with his arms crossed and what else could I do? Dario wasn’t mad when I hit him in the ribs. Don’t go easy, he whispered in my ear when he grappled me. You didn’t do anything wrong, bro. I hit him again, and again, and again. Tears blurred my vision. Dad egged me on past the point where we’d normally stop until Dario was a wreck on the floor, bleeding from a broken nose and a swollen eye, groaning and hugging himself.
Dad helped get Dario up into a chair and tied him there. I watched with split knuckles and a deep sense of shame. When it was done, Dad stepped back and brushed his hands off like he was cleaning himself after a hard day mucking stables.
Now you’ll think before you stick your little dick where it doesn’t belong. Then he walked to the door and held it open. We’ll be back in the morning.
Dario squinted at me, slumped forward, blood dripping from his nose. He grinned, and god, Marisol, he was perfect, that boy. Smart, strong, and brave. Our family would be so much better off if he were here now.
Go on, idiot, get going.
I didn’t want to leave him there, but Dad stared at me, saying nothing, and I knew that I’d be left behind too if I didn’t go. Dario smiled at me and gestured with his chin, and I swear I remember him flinching like something inside hurt, but I didn’t think anything of it at the time.
I walked out into the fast-thickening twilight, lightning bugs buzzing and crickets singing. Dad said something to him but I never heard what. He followed a second later, slamming the shed door closed.
Wait a second, Dario shouted, a note of urgency. It’s dark in here. Hey! Bass! Wait! At least leave the fucking light on for me! Bass! Give me a fucking light at least! Hey, the fucking lamp! Bass!