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I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t do that to us. That was not a great setup for a positive coparenting experience.

And the other option, the one that I hated, was to not tell him. I could handle it on my own and let him live his life.

But that felt wrong too. This was his baby. He had a right to know. Keeping it from him felt like a betrayal, even if telling him felt impossible.

I knew what I was going to do. And I hated that it made me feel like a coward. Because I was.

I would make the decision without putting the burden on Jeremy. He wouldn’t have to choose between his career and a family he never wanted. He wouldn’t have to pretend to be happy about something that terrified him. He could keep living his life and climbing toward the success he’d worked so hard for.

The man had worked his ass off to get where he was. I knew because I’d been alongside him every step of the way. He deserved to bask in the success of the new Blackwell campaign.

I could figure out the rest on my own. It wasn’t a perfect solution. There was no perfect solution. But it was the only one that didn’t end with Jeremy feeling obligated to be something he’d never wanted to be.

There was a catch, though. If I left, I couldn’t stay on as his agent and manager. I couldn’t sit across a table from him in meetings, negotiate his contracts, or text him his schedule like nothing had changed. Not when every email would be a lie. I’d built my career alongside his. Walking away from him meant walking away from that, too.

I pressed my palm to my stomach under the water. The nausea. The exhaustion that hit by noon and never let go. The stupid tears that came out of nowhere were just getting started, I imagined. Jeremy noticed everything about me. He’d already asked twice if I was feeling okay. How long before he put the pieces together? A week? Two? He wasn’t stupid, and I wasn’t that good of an actress.

And then there was the rest of it. In a few months, I wouldn’t be able to hide anything. I sure as hell couldn’t let him see me with a baby bump and watch the realization hit his face. I couldn’t stand there and wait to see what he’d do.

I ran through every scenario, one after another, searching for a version where I stayed and everything worked out. There wasn’t one. Every road ended with Jeremy giving up something for me, or me watching him pretend he hadn’t.

So there was only one answer. The one that tore me apart.

I had to go. I refused to be an obligation. A burden. That was not how I wanted us to be together.

The tears came, sliding down my cheeks and dropping into the water. I cried for the future I’d started to imagine. The one where Jeremy and I figured things out together. Feelings I’d been trying so hard to ignore turned into something real. I’d been so foolish to think we might decide to have a family one day when we were both ready.

Surprise. Ready or not, Baby Blackwell was coming.

I climbed out of the tub, and despite it not even being six o’clock, I climbed into my bed and passed out almost immediately.

The next thing I knew, Jeremy was knocking softly on the door. “Lucy? You awake?”

I wiped my face and sat up feeling a little out of sorts. “Yeah. Come in.”

He opened the door and stepped inside. He was already dressed for the day’s shoot. He looked gorgeous, as always. Fresh and alert and completely oblivious to the fact that I’d spent the night planning how to leave him.

“Is it daytime?”

He smiled. “Yes. I got back last night and you were dead asleep. I decided to leave you alone.”

“I didn’t even hear you come in.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Still not great,” I said. It wasn’t a lie. “I think I’m going to stay here again today. Rest up.”

Concern flickered across his face. “Are you sure? Maybe we should call a doctor.”

“It’s just the altitude and the travel. I’ll be fine. I just need to rest.”

He didn’t look convinced, but he nodded. “Okay. But if you’re not feeling better by tomorrow, we’re getting you checked out. No arguments.”

“No arguments,” I agreed, even though I knew there wouldn’t be a tomorrow. Not for us.

He crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed, taking my hand in his.

“I hate leaving you here alone,” he said.