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Instead, I felt something else entirely. A warm fluttering in my chest. Jeremy had been amazing. Not just physically, although, hello, that had been incredible. I couldn’t get over the way he’d taken care of me. He’d built that fire and gathered wood and made sure I was warm and safe.

I’d been with other men. Not a lot, but enough to know the difference between going through the motions and actually connecting with someone. What happened in that cabin wasn’t just sex. It was something more.

And that was a problem.

Jeremy Blackwell didn’t do “something more.” In all the years I’d known him, he’d never once shown interest in anything beyond casual. He dated models and actresses and the occasional socialite, but none of them lasted more than a few weeks. He liked variety. He liked freedom. He liked being able to walk away without looking back.

He wasn’t going to change for me. Why would he? I wasn’t some stunning supermodel or famous actress. I was his manager. The woman who organized his schedule and reminded him to eat breakfast.

I was convenient. Familiar. Available. The thought made my stomach twist.

Was that all this had been? Convenience? We’d been stranded, scared, cold. The adrenaline had been pumping. Maybe he’d just reached for the nearest warm body, and I happened to be it.

But even as I thought it, I knew it wasn’t true. That kiss hadn’t felt convenient. It had felt hungry. Desperate. Like he’d been wanting to do it just as much as I had.

Or maybe I was just telling myself that because I wanted it to be true.

I groaned and rubbed my hands over my face. This was exactly why I’d needed space. My thoughts were going in circles. And it was really pointless to have a one-sided conversation when there were two people involved.

My phone buzzed on the coffee table. I grabbed it, expecting a text from someone on the crew, praying Jeremy hadn’t fallen through the ice. And then I remembered they didn’t have cell service out there.

I saw my grandmother’s face lighting up the screen. A video call. My tech savvy grandma was not about the phone calls when she could look into the whites of my eyes.

I hesitated for half a second, then answered. “Gram?”

“Lucy!” Her face filled the screen, tanned and smiling, a palm tree visible in the background behind her. She was sitting on what looked like a patio, a glass of something fruity in her hand. “I got your pictures! It’s gorgeous out there!”

Despite everything, I felt myself smile. “It is. Cold but gorgeous.”

“I can only imagine. You know I’ve always wanted to see Alaska. Your grandfather and I talked about taking an Alaskan cruise once, but we never got around to it.” Her expression softened with memory. “Life gets in the way sometimes.”

“Maybe you and Harold could go.”

“Maybe.” She took a sip of her drink. “He’s more of a beach person, though. Speaking of which, we’re having the most wonderful time down here. His daughter is delightful. Very welcoming.”

“I’m glad.”

She peered at the screen, her eyes narrowing slightly. “You look tired, sweetheart. Everything okay?”

I could make a comment about the cold or the long days. But I didn’t. “Have you ever gotten involved with someone you shouldn’t have?”

She laughed, that familiar sound I missed so much. “Just every man since your grandfather passed, sweetheart.”

I blinked. “What?”

“Oh, Lucy.” She shook her head, still smiling. “After your grandfather died, I was so lonely. And sometimes loneliness makes you reach for things you probably shouldn’t. A neighbor who was going through his own divorce. A man I met at a divorce support group who was still technically married. There was that handsome dance instructor who was at least fifteen years younger than me.”

“Gram!”

“What? I’m old, not dead.” She took another sip of her drink. “The point is, it’s not the end of the world. People get lonely. They need physical connection sometimes. It doesn’t mean you have to fall in love. Lord knows I haven’t, not since your grandfather. Although…” She paused, a thoughtful look crossing her face. “This new one. Harold. There might be something there.”

“Really?”

“We’ll see.” She waved her hand dismissively. “But that’s not the point. The point is, whatever’s going on with you and making you look like you haven’t slept in a week, it’s going to be okay. You’re a smart girl. You’ll figure it out.”

I appreciated her confidence. “Thanks, Gram.”

“Now tell me more about Alaska. Are there really bears everywhere? I saw a documentary once about how massive those grizzlies are.”