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“Of course, won’t be a problem. I’ve got to head out on some business the next day but it’ll be fine,” I hear the other voice say as I round the corner and peek at Cole scrambling eggs and cooking bacon on the stove.

“I just…” Ryder pauses for a second. “I just don’t want to hurt her feelings is all.”

“I think your mom will understand, Ry,” Cole tells him and my heart clenches at the nickname for my son. “Be honest with her and let her know. She wouldn’t want you feeling guilty about this. She’s doing her best to make sure you have every experience.”

I stop for a moment and look at the room in front of me. This isn’t how I pictured this vision in my head fourteen years ago, but I guess things don’t always pan out the way we want. This might be the best I can get.

Ryder is sitting at the table with his glove in one hand and a baseball in the other. He has his ballcap on backwards as he tosses the ball up and catches it. He looks so much like his dad it hurts sometimes.

“Morning,” I mumble and make myself known.

“Morning,” Ryder says and almost drops the ball through his waiting fingers. “Cole came by to drop off some mail. Convinced him to stay for breakfast before going to school.”

“Oh really?” I question and raise an eyebrow towards my neighbor.

“What can I say, the boy looked like he was starving and after my late night I am too,” Cole says. My eyes widen at his innuendo.

“How very neighborly of you,” I say through my teeth as I smile.

He starts to chuckle and I have to turn away before I smack him upside his head. Instead, I walk over to the fridge and pull out the jam for the toast and the carton of milk.

“Got anything going on after school or this week that I need to add to the calendar?” I ask, hoping my son will bring up what he and Cole were just talking about. It’s starting to seem the older he gets the more he doesn’t want to share everything with his mom like he used to the last few years.

I see Ryder’s eyes flicker over to Cole behind me and I wait ever so patiently, not wanting my son to know that I overheard their conversation.

Ryder starts rubbing the back of his neck nervously, “Kinda, yeah.”

I hold my breath, waiting. “Okay?”

“Well, you see… the family game on Saturday⁠—”

“Yeah,” I draw out, wanting him to just tell me.

“I was wondering if maybe Cole could fill in…” His voice starts to trail off and my heart squeezes. His team is having a family day and all the boys and their dads were going to play against each other to see who is better. At first, Ryder didn’t really want to go at all, saying how stupid it was but I’d told him that I’d be happy to fill in on the parent team. It’s heartbreaking when there is only one parent that’s present and the event calls for the one who isn’t there.

“Oh.”

“It’s just that it’s supposed to be the dads, and you’d be the only Mom,” he says, giving me a pleading look. I’ve become a really good catcher over the years when he wanted to be a pitcher, but I know that it’s not the same as the other boys and that our situation is a little different. “But you know that I love you, right?”

As much as my heart is breaking, I give him my warmest and most loving smile.

“Of course, Ryder.” I turn my body so that I can see both my son and Cole. Pointing at Cole I say, “But if you start to suck and miss balls or strike out then I’m benching you.”

The tension in the kitchen breaks as Ryder bursts out laughing at my comment. Cole chuckles holding his hands up in surrender.

“I’ll do my best, Coach,” Cole says, then cuffs the back of my neck giving it a squeeze.

We sit down and have breakfast with Ryder while filling Cole in on his team and their dads and talking about the football camp this summer. As I load the last cup in the dishwasher, my alarm to take Ryder to school sounds.

“Can Cole take me to school today?” Ryder asks out of the blue.

“Honey, Cole probably has work or something with his family that’s in town—” I start.

“I don’t mind,” Cole interrupts. “I’m heading that way anyways, it’d give you a few extra minutes to sleep.”

“Please, Mom,” Ryder pleads, laying it on thick.

I am such a sucker for those eyes that remind me so much of his father.