Page 43

“Well, I’ll be good God damned. Katydid! Wasn’t expecting to see you! Forgot how much you look like him. Been a while.” And there’s the name.

“This is so weird, right? Weird!” I cannot modulate my voice. “Good to see you, Mr. G.” I hug the man and he holds me tight.

A befuddled Jack slaps Mr. Goodknow’s back. “What the hell are you talking about, Brycey?”

“I prepped with her dad at Lawrenceville. Good man, Rob Taylor.”

“Small damn world! I’ve got to grab Birdie. Unbelievable.” And Jack takes off.

Mr. Goodknow adds the final nail to my coffin. “Grab Curtie. She’ll want to enlighten Shorty right away about this situation.”

Whatever shit we’ve been doing just unraveled in ten seconds. And now I’m back to hating fucking Zane for pulling me into this mess. In ten seconds, my father’s best friend from high school and my mother’s best fucking friend in the world are involved in our scam. Correction. His scam. What the hell? I’m dizzy. Shorty will be telling my mother about my new engagement.

Nan’s now part of this untidiness. This is six degrees of hell. Who knew we had this many intersecting points on this fucked up wealthy Venn diagram? I was happy in my Dorito-crumbed sweatpants four days ago. Maybe not happy, but I certainly wasn’t a big fat fucking liar who’s about to be busted. It looks bleak. Darkness is descending upon me. It’s possible I’m going hysterically blind. Why is everything so dim? I reach out to Mr. G to make sure I can still see my own hand.

My vision clears as Bryce looks back at me and inquires. “What are Rob and Nan up to this weekend?”

“Just home from Palm Springs but headed to Vail next weekend. Love the slopes. You know them.”

“I do. This is wild. I didn’t...”

I frantically scan the room for Zane. I want him to link to my brain and race over. I’m discussing my father’s new hunting rifle. My mother will be calling me in seconds. I’ve been introduced as Zane’s fiancée. There’s no way to spin this. I’ve forgotten how to exhale. Now I can’t breathe, and I’m going blind.

“...even know Zane was engaged. Or you for that matter. Thought you were recently single. Damn, your wedding’s gonna be a helluva good time.” I keep nodding, not paying attention to my parents’ friend planning my non-existent wedding.

Then I see my doom approaching in a flounced butterfly-sleeve Nanette Lepore. My mother has the same dress in blue. There’s skinny, and there’s Curtie Goodknow skinny. She’s all sharp angles and a perfectly dyed black curly puff of hair. She slices her stick figure quickly across the room, slipping in and out of closed circles of people without them even knowing. She’s a gossip-mean girl-ninja.

“What’s so urgent, Bryce?” He points to me, and I wave. “Get out of here. Too much! Kat Taylor! How are you?” We hand-pat hug to pretend we’re intimate. “What on earth are you doing here?”

Birdie steps in. “She’s with the groom’s family. How do you know Katy?”

Bryce frowns a little, “Katy? Thought your mom hated Katy? I think it’s cute.”

Birdie looks at me sideways and as if on cue to muddy the waters, Zane arrives. “There’s my fiancée. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” I cringe as he slides his arm around me.

Curtie’s eyes light up. “Wait? Engaged?! To Zane Jackson? You? Nan said nothing. Does Shorty know? How sneaky! Wow. Good for you, Katydid. Many have tried but we thought he was ungettable.”

I grimace as Zane shoots me a look, tightening his grip around my waist and mutters, “Isn’t that flattering, Mrs. Goodknow.”

Curtie addresses our tight circle. “Zane! Really? Quirky Katydid? Shocked, she’s the one. We thought it was hopeless for her. Shorty was saying it last week at bridge club. With that disastrous recent engagement behind you, this seems rather fast, Katydid.”

Birdie says, “They were friends all this time and it just evolved.” Look at Birdie laying the lie groundwork for us.

Curtie clutches her Bulgari bangles. “Well, then it’s happiness. Explains your puffy face, you’re happy. I’m thrilled to see you doing so well. I’m surprised your mother kept this quiet. She’s usually one to brag.” I’ve always hated this woman as does my mom.

We all force a laugh in the wake of her masked insults. She compliments me for having a boyfriend and insults my weight by blaming happiness. God, I want to get back to my real life. Or at least find one.

I explain in an exaggerated happy voice. “Babe! You’re going to die. Shorty, my mom’s best friend and Wellesley roommate, grew up with Mrs. Goodknow.”

I hate Katydid. Shorty and Will gave me the nickname at birth. All my parents’ friends use it. “And there’s more. Your Uncle Bryce, here, prepped at Lawrenceville with my dad. They lived in the same dorm.”

“Suitemates for life,” he says.

Zane replies with a measured voice to Curtie. “Of course he did, because there are no victimless crimes.” I laugh while no one else does. “My little Katydid.”

He kisses my head as I poke him in the ribs. Oh God, where’s the oxygen in this room? Curtie’s about to TMZ this shit to Shorty. I’m going Chanel Suit Syndicate viral any fucking second. And my mother is a founding member.

“Congrats you two. Can’t wait for the engagement announcement. Thrilled you’re able to get back on your feet, Katydid.”