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“Do you?” He walks slowly behind my mother and puts his hands on her shoulders. I never doubted they were happy. Perhaps pushing their own brand of happiness on us isn’t the crime I’ve made it out to be.

I walk away from them around the side of the house and pull up my texts. There’s a notification of a blog post.

I go there instantly and read her words. I touch my phone lightly as if she could feel my caress. Every moment of my every day has been about trying to dismiss her and what we could be. I don’t know how to miss her either.

A notification pops up from my bank that says it has a deposit of a million dollars. I yell from the side of the house. “I told you I don’t want it!”

My father’s voice sounds like his actual one for the first time since his heart attack.

“Tough shit, it’s yours. Now figure it out.”

There’s a hold on half of it but I instantly transfer the rest of Liesel and Bill’s salaries and pay off their health insurance for the year.

LIESEL: No. Take it back. We have other jobs. We’ve abandoned you.

ZANE: No you haven’t. You have to work. You gave me more grace than most. It’s the rest of your contract. Your health insurance is paid through the year. And don’t fucking @ me. It’s not a gift, it’s a contract.

LIESEL: Thank you.

LIESEL: Look, our contracts with the new production for Nat Geo end next summer. We can pick up then. Or pitch the new angle. Bill cut some of the footage and sent it to you. Without all the Unleashed bullshit. You’re a pretty compelling guy when you get out of your own fucking way.

ZANE: I’d tell you I love you but I know you’d reject me as bullshit.

LIESEL: You’re telling the wrong woman that bullshit. Fix your life and for fuck’s sake, get out of your parents’ house. I have very little respect for you to begin with but this is really testing me. You didn’t do this to your dad by being happy.

ZANE: Yes, ma’am. And fuck off.

I don’t know how but then again, I’ve never known how to do anything until I’m in the middle of it. Fake it til you make it. Guess I just have to go.

I erase my visitor count from the blog. I’m not ready for her to know I’ve read it. And I’m completely aware I’m a coward who’s been hiding behind all kinds of personas.

ZANE: Did you know I’m like four different guys?

COLIN: Like eight.

ZANE: Why didn’t you say something?

COLIN: I do when you try to be Unleashed Zane around me, or your parents’ lapdog in my presence. Bro. It’s ok. You’re not responsible for his heart attack. And you can’t stop another one from coming by playing by their rules.

ZANE: Fuck me. And why do people feel the need to tell me that today?

ZANE: I did that.

COLIN: You did. But most of the time you’re just ‘you’ with me so I’m good. What the fuck is this about?

ZANE: Watch this.

I send him the footage Bill put together. I don’t want to see it yet because I know how vulnerable it will be. I head inside and start tidying up my childhood bedroom. I’m going to my own house tonight. I’ve slept here since she left. It’s hard to be at my house because it feels like our place now. I’ve owned it for seven years and the Harpy ruined it in 15 days.

COLIN: There you are. That’s the guy. Be that guy.

GINNY: And fix it.

ZANE: Seriously, you showed Ginny?!

COLIN: Soul and balls man. She owns my soul and balls.

GINNY: FIX IT