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“Oh, God. Jill. Fuck. What is fucking happening?” I lift her back up and she paints her lips with my precum while staring at me with those intoxicating whiskey eyes. I throw my head back and groan at the sight of it and even that thunders through the screened-in porch and rattles the back door.

My zipper is open and her hand moves toward my incredibly painful cock. She grins and says, “That is one huge cock you’re packing there, Fletch.” I have to stop her or this is going to be a fucking disaster. Fourteen-year-old me is super fucking pissed off at thirty-seven-year-old me right now. She wants to suck your dick and you’re about to stop her.

I back away and delicately graze her cheek.

She looks at me, confused. “Did I do something wrong?” I want to reassure her, so I kiss her hard and long.

“No. Not at all. I need to finish this myself.” And suddenly the spark between us is just out of reach. Like a firefly when dusk has passed. Shit.

“You’re so much more.” I pull away.

Bewildered, she says, “But you’re sending me away?”

“For now. This got beyond me.This isn’t about you, well it is, but not how your face thinks it is. Would you accept a, ‘it’s not you- it’s me?’”

“It’s ok.” She kisses me, but it doesn’t feel like she means it. How did I screw all of this up? She takes off quickly and I watch from the porch as she rushes to the front door. No. I can’t go in right now. I slip inside my house and into the pantry to text her and calm my red and angry cock down.

LIAM: What just happened?

Fuck. Why isn’t she answering? I can’t walk out there this hard.

LIAM: I can’t bear it if you left thinking something wasn’t right. Jillybear, answer me!

I call her, and she declines. I text more. She finally answers me.

JILLIEN: I’m headed out. You’re an excellent kisser. See you in another twenty.

LIAM: You do NOT get to leave.

JILLIEN: Not your call. I won’t take that from anyone. I like what I did and who I am and if I choose to leave because you can’t handle it, there’s nothing you can do to stop me.

LIAM: If I could come out there right now, I’d throw you over my shoulder and chain you to the blue chair in the salon, Jillien.

There’s a long, empty pause. I can’t let her slip away. Did I fuck it all up? Tonight is too important. I need to be with her. Like dirty, filthy, all the ways inside of this woman. Finally my phone dings and I exhale. I run my hands through my hair.

JILLIEN: Continue.

LIAM: I’m like a bear in heat when I get sucked off. And that’s with a mediocre blow job. I would have rumbled the walls of this dump. My MOM would hear me coming. Stay. I have plans for you that will alter your core memories.

JILLIEN: Why didn’t you tell me that? U don’t think I’m a whore?

LIAM: WTF! THAT IS WHAT YOU THOUGHT!????!! Good God, NO. I couldn’t control ME! And I needed to stop you before I ruined your stunning dress.

JILLIEN: You like my dress?

LIAM: I like all of you. Do as I say tonight. That starts with not fucking leaving. And talking to each other if there are doubts. Tell me anything and I’ll listen. No holding back. Brutal honesty with each other. I can’t take lies and hiding in my life. Talk to me.

JILLIEN: Is it wrong if I tell you that’s oddly romantic? And hot.

And just like that, we’re back to cute flirting.

LIAM: My dick already misses your touch. Tell me you’ll stay and finish what we started. You’re as bewitching as you are beautiful.

LIAM: Hey!?

She doesn’t answer me again. I try one more time before I go searching for her.

LIAM: Where did you go?