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Rory says to me, “And you don’t know the penis bloke at all?”
I shake my head.
Jonathan puts his hands out. “It will be love, Bree. My fiancée and I are so desperately in love we communicate telepathically.”
Ben says while he sips, “So, you don’t talk?”
He begins to justify and we all laugh at him. “We know each other’s souls. We don’t need all the details of life.”
Tristan says, “So, you don’t actually know her?”
Jonathan continues, “We don’t have to paw at each other to prove our affection.” He’s getting red-faced, and it’s hysterical to watch the Brits take him down.
We’re all laughing, as Rory leans over and says, “So, you don’t actually have sex?”
“She’s saving herself for marriage. Well, she’s saving herself from me for marriage.”
Tabi says, “That’s a fuck of a dry spell. How long?”
“Six months. I can wait for Juliet. Can I have more wine please?” Jonathan asks. We stare at him.
Tristan crosses his legs and leans towards Jon. “Thought her name was Tanya?” We all hoot again. His face gets red and flustered and he grabs the bottle and drains it.
Tabi puts her phone on the table. “Numbers. I’ll text for shipping addresses. Jon, I’ll send wine for whomever you marry. Ten cases good? Don’t tell Bax I gave away wine. My partners hate it when I do that, but oh well.”
Tristan picks up the phone, and Tabi glares at him. “Spill it snooty-britches.” I spit up a little red.
“Fine, if I must, and only because you’re strangers. I might be in love with a woman and I’ve never seen her legs. Or in three dimensions. I call it my secret Zoom shame. Mixed case, please.”
There’s a long silence while we sip. It’s our first pause in conversation and I’m stunned Tabi hasn’t filled the void. I move in the leather seat that’s starting to stick to me. I try to get up but slide off the chair and land on the ground. We all laugh except Rory who is there with a hand to help me up. As I head to the ladies’ room, Ben calls after me, “What’s the dick’s name? The one you have a date with?”
I turn and smile. “Ricky Schlong.” Hysterical laughter follows me as I stumble down the hall.
I’m so fucking wasted I don’t even know how I found the plane. I turn my phone in my hand and there are two million texts waiting. My sisters are a panicky sort. They need to chill. I’ll get to New York in time to meet the penis man.
TABI: ‘Sup bitches. Miss me?
BEN: In a strange way, yes, I do. But I am grateful to be headed to my gate.
JONATHAN: You guys are like my bestest friends. Like, bestest. Love you.
TRISTAN: So bloody tired. Good night, all. Safe travels.
I type out carefully.
SABRINA: Thank you all for hanging out with me. I feel good. I mean I feel gooder than I did about my life.
JONATHAN: We’re bonded FOR LIFE. SSSSSSSSabrina checks in when you s*/o on the date. I hate worry. fingers are fat and my phone is ttiny m
RORY: Tabi, I thought our mobile numbers were for our delivery addresses, not to burn through my international data?
TABI: This is more fun than shipping addresses. Happy flights.
RORY: Sabrina. I second Jonathan’s drunken sentiment. Check in. Let us know you’re safe. And, Tabi, and I mean this from the bottom of my kilt you like to pretend I’m wearing, fuck all the way off.
TABI: I’ll miss you too, Rory.
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