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I grin. After our odd beginning, we’ve been kind of inseparable since November 9th. He’s right. When we left Boston, I didn’t even entertain the thought of staying in Philly. I got on a plane to LA. No one asked. It was never planned, simply expected. Before I agree, he doesn’t have all the information. He deserves the whole picture.
“It won’t be easy. I’m not easy. You’ll see really ugly parts of me. I’m not good with setbacks. I’ll take it out on you. You’ll get sick of it all. Promise to be honest with me. Don’t hide your frustration to save my feelings. That’s not what we do.”
“Duly noted.” His spine stiffens a bit. I hope he’s simply nervous.
“And it takes a lot of ice. A LOT of ice to get the swelling down.” I reach for his hand. He kisses it, but he looks nervous.
“We’ll rent an ice machine, and you can PT at the house. We’ll binge a show.” He plays with my fingers.
“You don’t have to slow down too.”
“Maybe this is a sign. And if I can’t, we’ll deal with it. But you really don’t have anything to say about what I said?”
“And you’re not doing this out of guilt because I couldn’t find you.”
He says, “No. I have no guilt over that. It’s who we are.”
I scream as I process all that’s happened. It startles him. “Wait! Back up like five minutes.” His crooked smile breaks across his face. “You love me?”
He covers my mouth with his. His tongue licks into my mouth, and now I’m chained to a hospital bed, but incredibly turned on.
He puts his forehead to mine. “Yes. I do. I love you, Tess McGuire. And I’m a little high from saying it aloud. Also, I’m fucking shocked as hell by it.” We kiss again, and he begins to move me a little, and I wince.
He traces my jaw and lips. “Sorry. Despite my assertion of focusing solely on work the next five years, you blew my plan to hell the moment you canceled that Uber back in September.”
I can’t stop smiling.
His father saw it long ago. I kept myself in check. I slipped once during sex, but he was behind me and didn’t hear. I’m tentative. Maybe I’ve never really let myself feel it before. He lightly kisses up and down my neck.
He whispers, “It’s otherworldly to say it. I feel light and unfettered. Float with me, Tess.”
I look in his eyes, which are more golden like fall leaves today. “I love you too.”
He kisses me on my lips, hard, both of us searching for the truth.
I say, “Oh. That’s a massive dopamine release.”
“Addictive.” His lips nip at the shell of my ear.
My voice is a little clearer, “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
He takes my face in his hands and says, “I’m so in love with you. It not only defies logic, but it also defies gravity.” I bite his bottom lip. “But how long am I going to be um... let’s say, pitching solo.”
“My hand and mouth aren’t broken. And if you don’t mind the brace, I’d say we can get to it pretty quickly.”
“Now?”
I laugh. “You’ll be solo for at least a couple of weeks.”
“We’ve never gone two weeks.”
I’m stunned by that fact. “I suppose you’re right. Despite our original plan, when we thought we could last six weeks. Let’s make a pact, as long as we’re together.”
“Cool. You’re planning for our breakup just after I told you I love you.” Butterflies swirl as he tells me again. We’re not caught up in lust or in the honeymoon phase, it’s been five months since the night we met, and I’ve never been surer of anything.
“Look, it may never come, but you know me, I like a good construct and set of expectations.”
“Continue, woman.”
