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“Who doesn’t love a week at the beach?”
“I went alone.” He nods knowingly. “He and my so-called bestie stirred up some powerful righteous indignation about their exclusion from my vacations. Her anger was a lack of beach time. His was a bit deeper. But they fucked in commiseration.”
“She sounds fun.” I’m holding his hand in both of mine as I scoot to sitting.
“The ex thought so.”
“Stop beating yourself up over those morons.” I look at him, and he’s serious. It’s nice to be heard and seen. “He claimed you chose work over him?”
I pause. This part isn’t nice to say about myself, but it’s true. I whisper the ugly part. “I did. He deserves his anger. I used my advance to rent it. I was broke and didn’t pay attention to our bills. I didn’t know his salary, and lots of debt kept us afloat.”
“Hey,” he says, drawing my attention, and I gaze back to him. “If he’d been honest, you would have done it differently. I know you a bit now. He should have shared.”
Tears well in my eyes. He’s right. “He gave me an ultimatum—my book, or him. I walked away, and he told me he cheated. He said they thought I was inhuman for choosing work over them, and I was cheating on them with my books.”
Alex lets out a small laugh. “I have three exes who think the same thing. Maybe they can start a support group. Like their love was supposed to supplant work?”
Every fiber of being is dialed into every fiber of his. I head for more coffee, walking away from so much emotion. I pop a hip and turn to him. “Like, I’m supposed to work that hard and not love it? I should be honing my crockpot skills instead?”
“That’s oddly specific.”
“He cited it as a reason he fucked Krystal with a K.”
Alex says, “To be fair, you just throw a bunch of shit into it and turn it on. You probably could have made the time.”
I hit him playfully on the arm, and he pulls me into his lap. “I promise you. I’ll never fuck Krystal. Or resent you working.”
“I pledge the same.” He takes my hand, and we pinkie swear.
“You won’t fuck, Krystal? Is she hot? That’s a stripper’s name. She could totally work the Duvall Diamond Suite.”
“I won’t fuck her.” The laughter fades, and he soothingly rubs my back. We’re staring at each other and smiling. We’re literally grinning idiots.
“I see you.” He kisses me gently, and I’ve never felt more unfettered. I don’t have to censor with him. I hope he feels the same. I hope we always feel this connected. I need to stop thinking like a character in one of my books. I know better. I pull myself back to our present.
27
Alex
I keep moving my hands up and down this magnificent creature whose brain works so much like mine. It’s eerie I might be falling for myself. I know what we’ve just pinkie promised, but I want to put it in words. I lean over and move her hair behind her ear.
I’m nervous to say this to her, but I do. My voice is not as powerful as I’d like. “We’re doing this?” I want her past this moment. I didn’t think that was possible.
She stares at me with all the promise of a tomorrow, “Appears so. Let’s try to be something.” Her voice is gentle but resolute.
I say, “I pledge to understand your need to disappear or sit at a hotel bar.”
“And I pledge to try and understand our global position within the UN.” I laugh at her.
I stare at her azure blue eyes as she stretches her hand out for a handshake.
“I have a better idea.” I kiss up her legs. She moans loudly, and I almost lose it right there. I love how expressive. Fucking heaven.
* * *
The office has been off the hook since I walked back in the door. We did an all hands on deck thing and pulled back from travel. We need to focus on the lead up, and we’re better when we’re all in the same room. I even made Mark come down here to tape from his wooded paradise in Colorado.
Vanessa walks by the door, and I yell, “Ness! Where the hell’s the PR deck I have to review today? I thought you were emailing it to me, and it’s fucking nowhere.”
