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There was so much to take care of. Charlotte was helping with the flowers, the food, the decorations, the seating, and everything else involved. Gabriel had told her that she could have anything she wanted, but she must organize it.

That was more generous than he needed to be.

And Eleanor had to put on a brave face through it all. There were moments with Lottie where her mask slipped, and she had to work hard to regain her composure and not spill her true feelings.

Which meant that she had to wrestle with it alone. She had wanted more with Gabriel after their intimacies, and she wanted more from him now, but it was different. It was deeper now, and even though she felt conflicted with the marriage, she was excited by it.

Still, they had almost been caught. She also felt a mountain of shame in her heart. She was forced into a marriage that would never have happened otherwise, and it was one rooted in shame. When she thought about any intimacy with the duke now, the shame came flooding back, a constant reminder.

“You will be an aristocrat,” Charlotte said as she spun around, holding up a garland of flowers. “You will be a duchess!”

Eleanor hadn’t fully considered that part. Perhaps she would be a duchess in name, but she would never really be one. She would merely be the duke’s wife and nothing more. She wasn’t a duchess, but a duty.

“I wish Nathaniel could be here for the wedding,” Eleanor said.

“Perhaps he will receive the news and make it back over.”

“I hope not,” Eleanor blurted.

“Eleanor,” Charlotte scolded.

“No, I don’t mean anything by it,” Eleanor corrected quickly. “He is over in France on a diplomatic mission, and that is far more important than being here for my wedding.”

Especially when it will be a marriage of convenience. A cloak to hide my shame.

“That is certainly noble of you,” Charlotte commented.

“It is not noble,” Eleanor said a little too loudly.

Charlotte stopped what she was doing and looked at Eleanor curiously.

“My apologies,” Eleanor said. “There has been a lot of stress with the wedding happening so quickly. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.”

The feelings inside lighted more heavily in Eleanor’s heart. No one could share the burden with her. The only person who would understand was Gabriel, and she couldn’t complain to him. She could only be thankful to him.

“Everything will be fine,” Charlotte told Eleanor.

“I know it will,” Eleanor replied.

“Everyone is talking about it,” Charlotte said. “With His Grace wanting the wedding to happen as soon as possible, everyone in society is talking about how much he adores you and needs to be with you, and people are scrambling to clear their schedules so they can attend. The Season isn’t over yet, but it’s certain this will be the event of the Season. And I get to be there with you.”

“I am glad you will be,” Eleanor said. “I need you there with me.”

“Are you nervous?” Charlotte giggled. “About the wedding night?”

“Charlotte,” Eleanor scolded playfully.

“Oh, come on, you must be thinking about it. I know I’ve thought a lot about what it will be like to lie with a man when I finally get married. What it will be like to be touched and kissed. It’s one thing to dream about it, but quite another to know it will happen, especially when it will happen so soon.”

Eleanor couldn’t tell her friend that she was least worried about that part. That was the catalyst for the wedding in the first place, and she yearned for more of what had begun. There was a lot to worry about and navigate, but the duke’s bedchambers brought a stillness to her muddled mind.

“Yes, I do have a lot of nerves,” Eleanor lied. “I don’t know what to expect.”

“You must tell me everything,” Charlotte begged.

“I want to,” Eleanor admitted.

She rubbed her face, still coming to terms with how her life had shifted. She didn’t have the time or energy to deal with it just yet, but she knew that over time, she would reconcile with her feelings.