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But then I thought again of someone else loving Wren and nearly threw up. So I allowed myself to imagine myself with Wren instead. I remembered holding him on my couch a couple of weeks ago, and how right that felt. I imagined kissing him, touching him, lying in bed with him. Of talking and playing and getting off with him.

It was like a lightning bolt. That fast, letting myself imagine things I’d never considered before, and everything aligned. Head, body, and most importantly heart. The bathroom with the harsh fluorescent lighting was the worst place to have a revelation. But there it was.

My heart had always been with Wren. It had always been him. I’d been loving Wren since we were five years old. And somewhere along the way, I fell in love with him too. I’d just been too dense to see it. The distance, the time, hell, even my supposition that I was fully asexual, had all played a role in keeping the blinders on. But now that they were off, hope filled my chest that he could one day feel the same.

I had to talk to Wren.

Chapter 16

Wren

My heart was beating so goddamn fast I felt lightheaded as I watched Bodhi head to the bathrooms. In a two second span, everyone chose to ignore what had just happened—thank the universe for this family—and continued eating and chatting.

Except Isley. I caught his eye as he murmured something to Jerrica, then left the table to follow Bodhi. I took a few calming breaths, the kiss Bodhi had pressed to my forehead feeling like a brand.

With a shaking hand, I took my glass and drank a little of the wine I’d opted for, and tried to calm my nerves. I knew Bodhi well enough to know that something had flipped in his brain. He’d had a big thought, and I wasn’t sure what it was.

My joke hadn’t been a good one, but Gemma had definitely run with it, and now as I looked at her she gave me an “oops” face from the other side of the dining setup. I smiled back at her, then picked up my fork and knife to continue my meal.

I pointedly didn’t look at Ville, because he probably had some things on his mind right now and I didn’t need to see them on his face. I was halfway through my meal and considering seconds, even though I felt a little bit nauseous from what had transpired.

It took actual effort not to touch my forehead, which was annoying as hell.

Then Isley was back, and he gave me a small smile before joining Jerrica again. Whatever that meant.

It didn’t take long for Bodhi to come back. He slid into his seat, using my shoulder as support, and then went back to eating as if nothing at all had happened.

Well, then. I could work with that.

The discussion flowed around the table, everyone piping in whenever something caught their ear and they had something to say.

“So, Wren, you’ve stolen one of the dogs?” Jenn snarked at me.

I laughed, as did many others. “To be fair, she chose me. She’s the one popping up everywhere.”

“Yeah, getting to go in the truck plays absolutely no role in that, I’m sure,” Crew deadpanned.

Lifting my hands, I shook my head. “Hey, again, either I let her come in the truck or she has to walk back to the ranch alone.”

“Poor Nyx. A guard dog for a ranch having to walk,” Judson piped up.

He was working on the greenhouses he and Keegan were building on the ranch, and the dogs kept wandering around there, too.

I stuck my tongue out at Judson. “I reiterate: she started this.”

“I can see the headlines now,” Gemma joined in, lifting her hands up as if framing the headline. “‘Retired country star steals dog from ranch.’”

To everyone’s laughter, I asked, “There are how many other dogs?”

The ribbing went on, and it just made me feel as if I was part of the family, especially when Demi started to laugh hard enough to let out a honking sound that made everyone just crack up that much more. I was wiping my eyes by the time we settled, and so were many others.

The Harrington Thanksgiving tradition I had always liked the most was the movie night after dinner. I hadn’t been part of it many times—my parents still tried to follow some decorum when it came to holidays—but every time I had managed, it had given me a core memory to cherish.

So when I’d known I would be here this year and hopefully many more in the future, and I’d heard that Nick, Jenn, and Fern had decided to move everything to the Event Barn, I made a few online orders in secret.

When everything had arrived, I’d gotten swatted on the shoulder by Jenn, but nobody could really tell me off, because it was just so perfect.

I’d gotten the family beanbag chairs. There were more sturdy, shaped ones for one or two people, but there were a few giant ones that were more reminiscent of the smaller one I’d had as a kid. I’d also gotten a few rocking camp chairs to match the others. The amount of money I’d spent was insignificant to me, and I knew only Fern seemed to realize how expensive they’d been. She wouldn’t rat me out though, knowing that money really didn’t mean much to me, but the comfort of my family did.