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Carter threw his head back and laughed. Ramona stretched her neck as though she was trying to see what her owner was doing. I left the two men to their chat, purposefully tuning them out, and focused on the group as they continued through the course. There were only a few people left before Wren and I needed to watch for anything that sent up a flag as something we needed to work on over the next few days.

But it was hard to keep my mind from wandering. The excitement for the veterans’ project had only grown the more research I’d done, and Marielle had started sending me information to look into as well. She was prepping for our meeting in a few weeks and I spent more time than not in the evenings looking through what she sent. It was still going to take time to set up and probably be at least next summer before I got it off the ground, but it couldn’t come fast enough.

For all the good that I was doing with these sessions, and so many riders left here feeling more confident and with good skills, I knew in my heart that helping veterans like myself was my calling.

I could have easily fallen down the rabbit hole thinking about that, and everything still needing to be done, but Wren entered the arena and he had my entire attention. He sat straight and tall on the back of Nelson, legs loose, heels down. He looked confident and ready up there, but I caught a quick tap tap tap of his fingers against the pommel before he settled. My boy was nervous. For all that Wren was a skilled rider—he’d been on horseback almost as long as I had—this was new. Nelson was new.

“Go, Bird,” I called out, just loud enough for him to hear me.

At that, Wren’s shoulder’s relaxed just a fraction, and he went through the gate. Nelson didn’t like that so much, and tried to sidestep, but Wren kept him under control. Gate closed, Wren led the gelding through the figure eight, then over the ground poles. I leaned forward, watching the horse more than the rider, noticing the way Nelson’s ears were pinned back and hearing his snorts. The horse was complying with every one of Wren’s directions, but he wasn’t happy about it. Or rather, he’d be happier if he didn’t have to do it, more likely. But Wren was at ease, and they made it through the weave poles. As they loped around the corner, I noticed Nelson crossfire. There was a minute hitch in his step and suddenly his back legs were on the wrong lead. Wren didn’t bother to correct it as they came out of the lope and to a walk. As they approached the bridge, Nelson set one foot on it and stopped dead.

Wren tried to get Nelson to move, but the horse refused. I knew for a fact Hawk used all sorts of similar apparatuses in his training, so I was sure Nelson had encountered a wooden bridge before. Was he just being stubborn? Or had Wren given him the wrong cue?

Third time was the charm though. Nelson swished his tail violently, shook his head, and then crossed the bridge like it had been his idea anyway. I could hear the low murmur of Wren’s voice as he praised the gelding, and they moved on through the end of the course, picking up to a jog, then slowly back down to a walk.

I double-timed it to the start, ready to greet him with praise for a job well done. He’d done fantastic and he needed to know that. I was so damn proud of him.

Wren’s smile couldn’t be contained, and even though Nelson still had one ear pinned, he seemed to be enjoying the neck scratches Wren gave, given how he was stretching into the touch.

“Fuck yeah, you did great!” I praised.

Wren’s eyes were shining, and he let out a little laugh, his eyes shining. “He crossfired.”

“We’ll blame Hawk’s training,” I teased, resting my hand on his thigh. I squeezed the muscle there, trying to convey how happy I was for him. “For a first time, you two did awesome.”

Wren’s smile slipped a little, but he fixed it quickly. “I should probably give him a break. He’s worked hard today.”

With that, Wren dismounted before I could move back and he sort of collided with me. I had to grab him to keep us both upright, and he sucked in a sharp breath, probably because we’d nearly toppled over. But since I had him right there, I wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to hug him tightly.

As soon as my arms were around him, pressing him against me, I relaxed completely. There hadn’t been near enough hugs since he’d come back, and it was one of the things I missed the most. Ever since we were kids, hugs and cuddles had never been a problem between us. He’d thrown himself down against me more times than I could count. Even when we were teenagers and classmates started making comments, we hadn’t stopped. We’d always been in each other’s space, and I needed more of that. I’d missed that.

Wren started to pull away, but I wasn’t ready to let go. If he really wanted to get out of my hold, I’d let him. But I hung on for a moment longer, hoping he would relax. After a few tense seconds, he did, sighing as he pressed his face against my neck, inhaled deeply, and squeezed me back as tightly as I was holding him.

As long as I had this, I would be okay.

The clang of a bell sounded in the distance, making Wren jump in my hold. But it was just the lunch bell. When guests were out in the arena, Nick used the bell as a thirty minute warning so that guests had time to see to their horses. Unfortunately, it meant that my moment of hugging Wren had come to an end.

I kissed the side of his head as I pulled back, getting him right below the brim of his beanie. Wren tugged himself out of my arms then, and turned to Nelson.

“Come on, boy, let’s get you some hay and water.”

“You can stick around for lunch and turn Nelson out in the second paddock, over by the dining hall.” I grabbed his shoulder, ready to turn him to see his face, but the guests were making their way toward us, all of them knowing where to take their horses so they themselves could eat. I just squeezed before letting Wren go, then turned to Hawk and Carter. “You guys gonna stay for lunch?”

They looked at each other and had a silent conversation with their eyes. After a few seconds, Carter nodded. “We’ll never turn down a Nick meal.”

I gave Hawk and Carter the same directions I’d given Wren, and the three of them led their horses toward the dining hall. I stood and watched them leave, then followed the guests toward their assigned paddock. Every one of them could handle their own horses, but this was still a retreat atmosphere and I needed to make myself available for any of their needs. It was my duty as host.

But in the back of my mind, I was already trying to figure out what else I could do to get Wren and I back to the place where he was comfortable with casual touches, hugs, and cuddling. I was sure that once we had that piece again, we’d be like we always had been, before life had sent us in opposite directions.

Chapter 10

Wren

My thigh buzzed from his touch as I tried to concentrate on having polite discussion with everyone around the lunch table. It felt odd that the hug, welcome and unwelcome at the same time as it had been hadn’t shaken me as much.

I’d had his whole body wrapped around mine. That should’ve felt more unsettling than the simple grip on my thigh, right? Somehow, it didn’t, though.

When we went inside, I took off my sunglasses and of course that led into some of the guests recognizing me. That was fine, but only because they were all incredibly polite about it. I had relaxed when they got their staring under control and continued chatting like nothing out of the ordinary had happened whatsoever. God, how I loved people like that.