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He grabbed my chin and roughly turned my head as he leaned over me, forcing me to look into his eyes. There was promise in those eyes, something dark and full and dripping with need. A possessive, almost maniacal glint that bordered on insanity that made my heart pound against my rib cage. “Why do I care? Because I hate that you hurt yourself to make yourself feel better. The marks on your body might be your pain, but the marks I leave will free you from that pain. And when they fade, I’ll just put more marks, until all you see when you look at yourself is me. Until all you know is every good feeling I’ve given you. I want to turn all your wounds into something beautiful, something you never want to get rid of. I want to become your most treasured possession, Whitney. I want you to keep me and use me and…”
The tears were streaming down my face now. I couldn’t breathe, and then the most awful sound came out of me.
“Shh. I’m right here. I’ve got you.” That only made me cry harder, until I was a mess on his lap. He kept murmuring soft words to me, and a chasm opened in my chest, all the grief and longing spilling from me in one colossal rush of emotion.
Court pet my hair while murmuring soft words to me, gently rubbing my ass with the hand that had punished me so aggressively moments ago. I cried until there was nothing left, until I could hardly remember what I was crying about, with Court running his hands slowly over my body in soothing, comforting strokes.
I was completely lax, like I’d melted into a puddle. Something in my body had released during that onslaught, something toxic and foul that had been expelled from my being. I couldn’t move at all, and I didn’t want to.
Suddenly, Court sank his teeth into the nape of my neck, and I jolted. Unlike me, Court had sharp canines, and they dug hard into my skin. He sucked the spot before releasing. His warm tongue lapped at the bite, and he made a satisfied humming sound in his chest.
Something soft brushed against my face, dabbing at my tears and drool. And something hard was pressing into my stomach.
“Fucking pervert,” I mumbled.
Court’s low laugh sank into me. When he was done cleaning my face, he stroked his palm down my back, over my ass, rubbing gently, helping to soothe the pain he’d given me.
“Do you feel better now?”
I felt like I was floating along a stream of fire, but the flames that licked at me were laced with a euphoric, deeply soothing heat. I felt lost and found and held and cherished and tamed and wild all at once.
I felt like Court had given me something that I never wanted to return.
It was mine.
All my own.
The gift of his pain. He’d pulled me from my blackest depths and dragged me to heights I never knew I could reach.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, so softly that I hoped he didn’t hear it. I’d apologized more to this man than I had to anyone in a lifetime.
“Mm.”
I didn’t know what that meant, if it was acceptance or dismissal. Court moved my legs out from under his, sat me up on his lap, then, after nuzzling my cheek, he stood and carried me in his arms. He took the stairs slowly, and when we got to his room, he laid me on the bed, pulled the covers up to my shoulders, and brushed my hair back from my face. I stared up at him with bleary eyes, feeling like every bit of tension I’d carried with me for years had drained away.
He grabbed my right hand and carefully lifted it to his lips, his eyes fixed on mine. He kissed my palm—the one I’d slapped him with—then held it against his cheek, nuzzling into my hand.
The muscles in my abdomen tensed, a slow heat curling through me.
I had to fight this. I had to fight him. I needed to get out of here before it was too late. Had to figure out a way to protect myself or just run the fuck away because I had no defenses when it came to Court. I had nothing.
My eyes fluttered shut. I forced them open again, staring up at him as he sat by my hip and petted my hair like I was his damn dog.
It felt so fucking good.
He set my hand delicately on my stomach, like it was made of glass. “Get some rest. I’ll be back later in the evening.”
“Well I won’t be here when you get back,” I murmured.
The warmth in his eyes was snuffed out in an instant. “You damn well better be.”
“Mm,” was all I said to that, and a smile curved on my lips. Irritation flashed in his eyes, and it felt good to get under his skin.
But that faded as soon as he threaded his fingers through my hair and pulled my head back until he was leaning over me and all I could see was him. “You’ll be here when I get back. Do you know why?”
I hated his authoritativeness. Hated that he could so easily ensnare me with those eyes. As long as he was looking at me, I was trapped.
“Why?” I asked, licking my lips.