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But when his eyes met mine in the mirror, I realized just how wrong I’d been. This was so much more than sex. And I’d been kidding myself to think it could be otherwise.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Logan was tucked into my side, my arm cradling her to me. I was sleepy and warm. Content. If happiness were a moment, it would be this one.

My eyelids were heavy, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I drifted off again at any moment. I hadn’t slept much last night, and neither had she. I was pretty sure we’d pushed my refractory period to its limit. But fuck if I cared. I found I cared about very little.

We’d just finished another round, and now the early morning sun was filtering in through the windows. I resented its intrusion, the reminder that Logan would be leaving soon, even if the sun was bathing her in a golden light that made her seem almost otherworldly. Like we were living in a dream.

A dream I didn’t want to end. If anything, last night had only made me even more determined to show Logan how good we could be together. I got the feeling she hadn’t been with someone who was a true partner, someone who supported her goals and celebrated her ambition. I knew I could be that person for her. It would take time and persistence, patience. But I hadn’t gotten to where I was in my career by giving up.

Logan traced the tattoo on my ribs. “What’s this one for?”

“Mm?”

“This tattoo,” Logan said. “Why did you get it?”

I could picture the design without opening my eyes. It was a seemingly endless map of nowhere in particular. A land of possibility. An intricate compass rested on top of the map, but it was blank—no indication of north or south.

I didn’t often read comments online, but I’d seen a few about my tattoos. Some people thought this one meant that I was a lost soul or I’d somehow lost my way. Others joked that my tattoo artist had screwed up, forgetting to add the details to the compass face. But only I knew the truth behind the reason for my tattoo, and it had definitely been intentional.

“I got it as a reminder that I forge my own path, regardless of predetermined ‘rules.’”

“Interesting.” She dipped her hand lower, my body rousing at her touch.

Her skin was warm and soft, and she explored me as if we had all the time in the world. As if I were uncharted terrain, and she was an explorer determined to record every inch of me. As if this weren’t just one night.

“It was my first tattoo,” I said in a gruff voice. “I got it when I was nineteen and feeling lost. But seeing it reminds me of who I am and what I believe.”

I watched her as she studied me. She was beautiful, and I loved seeing her so at ease.

She was always so busy, always hustling, whether it was on the ice or for the podcast. And I loved that about her—the ambition and drive. She was talented and confident, and it was sexy as hell. But I also loved that she’d let down her guard, that she felt that she could relax with me.

“It’s difficult to imagine you ever feeling lost.” She pressed a kiss to the skin where my tattoo was inked. “You always seem so confident. So sure of yourself.”

“Yeah, maybe now,” I admitted, though I still had my moments of doubt. “But that wasn’t always the case. I don’t know what Levi told you about my family, but they were very strict.”

Logan rested her chin on my chest, peering up at me. “I was in college at the time, so we didn’t get to talk as much as I would’ve liked. But he enjoyed living with you and your family. He enjoyed your friendship, at least before…you know.”

You need to tell her the truth.

“I hate that I wasn’t a better friend to him.”

I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. I had a feeling that Logan might look at me differently if she knew the truth about what had happened with her brother. My stomach clenched. I told myself that now wasn’t the right time, but I also wondered if there’d ever be a “right” time.

“After I left home,” I continued. “It took me years to unravel what I was told to believe and discover what I knew to be true.”

“I’m sure that wasn’t easy,” she said, giving me space to process my feelings.

“No. It wasn’t.” I smoothed my hand over her skin, trying to calm myself. “It cost me my relationship with my family.”

Setting boundaries with my family had felt like cutting off a limb. Questioning everything I’d ever known, everything my family believed, had been like falling into an abyss. Even so, as painful as it had been—as it still was at times, I didn’t regret it.

“I’m sorry, Carson. I’m sure that was hard. I can’t even imagine…”

I gave her hand a squeeze. “I hope you never have to.”

It was a big reason why I never should’ve agreed to “one night.” Because with as much as Logan’s brother hated me, “one night” could undo everything.