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The door shut behind him with an audible click. Apart from the sound of the air conditioner kicking on, the room was silent, awkwardly so. I’d never been so at a loss for words when it came to my brother.

Levi finally glanced up from the couch where he was sitting in a pair of athletic shorts and a Dallas Rattlers shirt. Dark circles formed shadows beneath his eyes, and his hair was messy, as if he’d been running his fingers through it all night. In other words, he looked about as awful as I felt.

I sank down on the couch next to him. “Hey.”

He lifted his chin in greeting.

“Lee…” I wasn’t even sure where to start.

He let out a heavy sigh that I felt all the way to my bones. “I keep asking myself, how could you do this? You knew how I felt about him. You knew…”

I’d expected Levi to be upset. But I hadn’t anticipated this. This look of utter devastation and betrayal.

Maybe I should’ve done more. Pushed harder for answers. But I had. I had.

“I asked both of you, multiple times, what happened.” I hoped my tone didn’t sound accusatory. “I knew you were hurt, and I hated that, Levi. I hate that.” My heart was breaking for him.

I could only imagine how he’d felt when it had happened. Trusting someone, only to be betrayed. Being kicked out without warning because of who you were. Feeling so alone and perhaps even ashamed, when I would’ve been there for him. Mom and Dad would’ve been there for him.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Or Mom or Dad? Someone?” I kept coming back to that because it didn’t make any sense. We’d always been so close; or at least, I thought we were.

“You’re kidding, right?” Levi asked. “My best friend had just betrayed me, and I was terrified of losing everything that I’d worked so hard for, that our family had sacrificed for. If my closest friend reacted the way he did, how could I expect anyone to accept me for who I was?

“Besides, you were in college,” Levi continued. “Living out your dreams. Mom and Dad had always seemed so…solid. But they were getting divorced. Everything I’d known, everything I’d believed and trusted…my family, my foundation, was crumbling.”

My chest ached. Despite how amicable Mom and Dad’s divorce had been, and the fact that Levi and I had been almost adults ourselves, it had still affected us profoundly.

“I guess…” He stared at the floor. “If they could stop loving each other, I feared that maybe they’d stop loving me too.”

“Lee…” My voice cracked. “They could never…” I shook my head, so many emotions bubbling up inside me.

I could understand his fears, but there was something Levi needed to hear. And perhaps I hadn’t realized it until now. “Lee.” I placed my hand over his. “You could never do anything to make me not love you.”

“You sure about that?” he asked, and it felt…loaded.

“Yes,” I said, absolutely certain. “You are my brother, and I will always love you.”

He lifted his head, eyes glittering with emotion. “You say that, but your actions don’t feel like the actions of someone who loves me.”

Oof. I sucked in a breath, feeling as if he’d stabbed me. The pain was so real, so visceral, that I rubbed the spot over my heart—again.

“Lee,” I pleaded, begging him to listen. To understand. To believe me. “What Carson did was wrong, but he’s owned up to that. He took steps to remedy it. He tried to protect you the best he could.”

“Protect me from a problem of his own making!” Levi roared, surprising me with his outburst. My brother typically avoided confrontation. But maybe he’d just been bottling up his anger, his hurt, and all these emotions for the past few years.

“Even so,” I said, trying to remain calm. “Carson’s not the same person he was back then.”

“Mm.” Levi crossed his arms over his chest, skepticism radiating from him.

“He’s not,” I insisted, believing it was true. “Carson isn’t just saying all the right things, he’s doing them. He’s putting in the work—with therapy, with the NHL Culture Initiative. He has been one of my biggest…”

Levi stood and started pacing along the windows, agitation lining his every move. I could understand that he didn’t want to talk about it, but I also knew that not talking about it wasn’t going to get us anywhere.

“I know he hurt you.” I swiped away a tear. “But I wish you could see past that. I wish you could see the man I see. The man who has consistently supported me and my decisions. When we discussed the possibility of my signing with Anaheim⁠—”

Levi paused. “You talked to him about signing with Anaheim?” He whirled back to face me. “Is this why you wanted to move to LA? Because of him?” My brother seemed both stunned and horrified by the prospect.

“I’ve wanted to move to LA for a while, you know that,” I said in a gentle tone. A don’t-rush-to-conclusions tone. “This was a good opportunity, but it wasn’t an easy decision.”