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And that’s the problem.
There are a thousand reasons Milo and I shouldn’t rekindle what we once had, but every time he looks at me, I forget every single one of them.
“Do you mind giving me a minute with them?”
“Of course.”
He presses another kiss to my forehead before walking toward another row of headstones, close enough that I can call for him if I need him but far enough away to give me some privacy.
I kneel on the grass in front of my parents and start talking to them. I don’t hold back. I tell them everything I should’ve said years ago. Everything I wish they’d been here to see. The things I’m proud of and the things I’m not. I let the tears fall without wiping them away, and somewhere between the first word and the last, something inside me begins to loosen.
It reminds me of when I was younger and would come here looking for some small measure of peace by laying my soul bare to my mom. And just like back then, by the time I’m finished, I feel lighter. As if a burden has been lifted off my shoulders, because I was able to share it with them.
I say goodbye, telling them I don’t know when, or if, I’ll be able to come see them again anytime soon, but that it doesn’t mean I love them any less. I’ll always love them, and I’ll carry their memories in my heart forever.
Once I’ve pushed myself to my feet, Milo is beside me almost immediately, a solemn look on his face.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, wiping the lingering tears from my cheeks.
“I’m good.” I smile, meaning every word. “I’m more than good.”
“Do you need another minute?”
“No. That’s okay. I said everything I needed to say.” I glance back at their headstones. “And you’re right. They know my heart. That’s all that matters.”
“I’m glad.” He laces his fingers through mine.
“Do you want to see your mom? We can if you want.” I look past him, searching the nearby headstones for Lucia’s, but before I can find it, Milo steps into my line of sight.
“Maybe next time.” His fingers tighten around mine. “Right now, I just want to walk with you. Is that okay?”
I nod, relishing the feel of his hand in mine, and together, we make our way down the hill in peaceful silence.
Maybe it’s how seen I feel at his side that finally gives me the courage to ask the question that’s been weighing heavily on my mind.
“What are we doing, Milo?”
“I think I’m walking you back into town.” His fingers tighten around mine. “Or is there somewhere else you’d rather we go?” He winks.
“No. Don’t do that.” I stop just as we reach the cemetery’s gates. “Don’t be cute right now.”
“All I heard was that you still think I’m cute.” He places his hands on my hips.
“Be serious for a second.” I rest my palms against his chest. “Just tell me what we’re doing. Is this a fling? Are we just reminiscing about old times? Do you just want to fuck me and leave? What?”
His cheeky smile vanishes instantly.
“You’re overthinking things. You do that when you’re looking for a reason to push me away.”
“No, I don’t.” I take a step back.
“Yes, you do, Max.”
He closes the distance I created and gently catches my chin, tilting my face toward his.
“You’re here. I’m here. Forget all the reasons why this shouldn’t happen. Forget everything that happened to us. Just…” He places a hand over my heart. “Let yourself feel this.”
I swallow hard beneath the intensity of his stare.
