Page 44

“So, essentially, you didn’t have a childhood because you were the younger brother?” Thana narrowed down the utter shitshow of his family life in one sentence.

“Honestly, I got used to it. By the time we were in our twenties, I’d accepted my fate and become the male I figured would lead our Clan, which is what my father had been molding me into since I was born. I left our territory for a year. My father sent me instead of Scepter, and since he was still the head of the Clan, I didn’t have a choice, and there wasn’t a reason for me not to go.”

“What was so important that you had to leave for a year?”

“My father wanted me to learn from other Clan territories how they ran. He said I needed to watch real leaders and make sure I could be as good as them. As the patriarch of our Clan, he believed that I needed to experience how others were run to be molded into the perfect next in line, as he’d wanted.” Severin realized he was squeezing Thana too hard and eased his grip.

“I’m sorry, but that’s utter bullshit. Your father sounds like a fucking prick. Sorry.”

“No, you’re right. He was an absolute, dìolain. Our mother was truly a saint for putting up with him for all those centuries.”

“So, while you were gone, did your father give Scepter more responsibility? Is that what caused the chasm between the two of you?”

Severin closed his eyes and tried to set aside the past hurt he’d caused to his twin. In the end, his brother was the real victim. “Yes and no. Father sent me away because he feared the power I already held within myself and the Clan. Scepter is no pushover, obviously. He stands next to Savage because he chooses to, not because he can’t hold his own. However, back when we were under our father’s rule, everyone expected me to take his place. Because of that, I naturally, or more aptly, was made to practice more and built my power and abilities faster. Our innate strengths and power would always outrank our father’s, thanks to his and our mother’s lineage. That’s what scared my father, and why he sent me away. I think he actually expected me to be killed during one of the training camps.”

“Oh, Goddess. You can’t be serious.” Thana’s eyes shone with unshed tears.

Severin brushed his lips over her temple. “It doesn’t matter now, but it’s true. The territories he sent me to were some of the harshest and most dangerous, known for cruel punishments for the slightest infraction. Still, I not only survived...I thrived. I took all their so-called teachings and gave back tenfold. I learned to take everything they dished out…pain, humiliation, love, you name it. In return, I gave back more than I received. Now, it’s another extension of me, how I’m built. Sadly, the recipient, the being on the other end who receives the blessing of my returns, tends only to see death and destruction. I’m ruthless and really good at it. My father wanted to destroy me. Instead, he created a monster.”

“No. Don’t say that. You’re beautiful, inside and out.”

“You won’t say that after you know what I did.” He screwed his eyes shut. “I scented her before I saw Bianca. Instinct made me flash to where she was, which just so happened to be in the back gardens of my parents’ estate. My entire being screamed at me to claim her, which I wanted to do more than anything. I’d been traveling straight for two days, wanting to see my brother. We’d never been apart until that year. It felt like I’d lost a part of me during that time. When I saw Bianca, I honestly forgot all about Scepter and my family. She consumed every thought. And then I was hit by rage and a familiar presence. Scepter.” Severin tried to shift Thana off his lap, but she locked her arms around his neck. He could’ve broken free but didn’t want to hurt her.

“What did Scepter say?”

“It’s not so much what he said, but what he did. He shoved me away from Bianca and told me she was his wife. I literally saw red. How could she be his when she was mine? I could feel it and knew she could too. How was that possible? But then I could feel it. A thread tied them together. Not as thick as the thread I knew bound her and me, but she and Scepter were bonded. It was the worst trick Fates had ever played, giving my female to my twin, my best friend. So, I let her go. I chose to leave. Of course, I found out my father already knew that Bianca was mine, but felt Scepter was the better fit for her, which was another reason he sent me away.”

“That’s fucked in so many ways. Bianca just let you leave?”

“Scepter ended up being the one who left, but life wasn’t as you’d think or expect when two mates the Fates created for one another were finally together. At first, it was pleasant, but then Bianca became...unstable. I thought she needed time to adjust to being with me instead of my fratè. Within six months, I decided to move us from my family estate to a more secluded one, thinking we needed to have time alone.” He buried his face in Thana’s neck and breathed in her sweet scent.

“Did that help?”

Thana seriously doubted anything could’ve helped, since she felt she knew what ailed the female.

“For a time it seemed to, but only for about a month. I don’t know if it was the fifth or sixth week when the cracks became too deep, and then I couldn’t deny the truth any longer.”

“So, Bianca wasn’t well. Her family knew she wasn’t when they approved her mating with your brother?”

“Yes, but they didn’t tell my father. They’d kept her medicated with a special tonic, and continued supplying it to her when she lived with my family. However, her father was killed, and her mother followed shortly after, which coincided with our move out of the estate. That left Bianca completely unmedicated within weeks of our move to our new home. I noticed her deteriorating, but my arrogance wouldn’t allow me to admit I couldn’t fix her.”

She brushed her lips over his brows. “You weren’t to blame.”

He smiled sadly. “If I had taken her back to her hometown earlier, we might’ve been able to reverse the damage done to her brain.”

“Shut up. You are not to blame for her damage. She knew. She should’ve told you, or Scepter. Obviously she had lucid days, right?”

Severin ran a hand through his hair, and she missed his touch.

“You’re right. I had her committed after she tried to kill herself. That I couldn’t overlook because I nearly died. When you’re bonded as one, as we were, our lives were tethered. I’d barely been able to claw my way to her dying form and save her. It took three days before I could gather the strength to transport her to a place where she could be kept medicated and safe. I thought I’d feel better knowing she would be alive, but I just felt numb. So I went to parts of the world where I could be away from others. That’s when I found monasteries where I could study and grow. I’d check in on Bianca every month as her mate, but her mind went back to a time, or maybe it was a place, that didn’t include Scepter or me. Honestly, it was better that way. No guilt, you know?”

“Did you love her?” Thana bit her lip, unsure if she wanted to hear the truth. No, she did want to hear it. She just wasn’t sure she could handle it.

“I cared for her, but love? What I feel for you surpasses anything I did for her. When you hurt, my heart does. When she hurt...I hurt because Fate bonded us. There’s a difference because I know what love is now. Love is when it’s unfathomable to imagine a life without you. Even if you don’t want me, I could go on living as long as you’re alive. Love is willing to be the shadow that follows you safely, even when you wish to walk alone. Love is willing to carry the weight of the whole sky, so you never have to feel it press down. Love is you and me.”

“You’re going to make me fucking cry, Sev.”

“I don’t want you crying unless it’s my name leaving your lips when I’m buried deep inside you.”