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Cameron marched back, bridging the distance between us even as the rain fell a little harder. She held my gaze with a directness that was much more in her character than her recent avoidance tactics. “I appreciate what you did for me in Aberdeen, Forde. How you were there for me. How you believed me. But I’m not going to unblock you.”

What … I didn’t … what the fuck?!

“We both know I’ve spent years waiting for you to stop shagging other women and realize I’m the one.” She gestured toward the Lantern, as if it were an example of that. “I dated other men, pretending to move on, knowing I never really gave them a chance because I was still waiting for you. But somewhere along the line I just … I stopped. I stopped waiting. And I stopped loving you.”

A crack opened in my chest. A painful, awful, fucking crack.

Her words landed like a sledgehammer.

“The problem is, you have this ability to get under my skin and if I let you in again, I’ll be back where I started. Wasting my time on someone who is only keeping me around because knowing I loved you made you feel good about yourself.” Her words were bitter and so fucking wrong. “I want to move on and find the love of my life. And I don’t think that’s possible if you’re in my life. So …” Her expression twisted with pain. “I’m sorry, Forde, but I’m not going to unblock you from my phone. Or from my life.” She shrugged, blinking away tears before she whirled and strode off.

I was too stunned, too in pain to call out after her.

Then the anger kicked in.

Because how dare she think that of me!

That I only wanted her around to make myself feel good!

Well, fuck that! Fuck her! How dare she decide who I am, just like every other motherfucker who was supposed to care about me!

No, this was good to know. I could move on now. Forget about her. I didn’t need that bullshit in my life! I didn’t⁠—

Suddenly, the pager in my back pocket vibrated.

Shit. Just what I needed. I huffed as the rain unleashed itself upon me.

Blinking through the downfall, I checked my pager and reluctantly turned, heading down Main Street toward the lifeboat service.

20. Forde

As the Leth Sholas Lifeboat Service mechanic, I spent my time downstairs in the engine room during rescues. I stayed in contact with Bryan, who manned the pilot seat upstairs. With him was Isla Cooper in the navigator’s seat and two other crew, Grant Ure and Shona McIver. Isla and I had come up in paramedic training together and knew each other well. She lived just outside Leth Sholas with her wife on a sheep farm they’d bought eight years ago.

Since I dealt with our engines, tech, and mechanics, Isla was the official medic on board.

She’d turned to me tonight for help … but there was nothing I could do.

Two hours ago, when we launched the boat Daire Montrose had donated to us, a top-of-the-range lifeboat with anti-capsizing abilities, it was raining, but we’d launched in rougher conditions.

We soon discovered on our path to rescuing the couple in trouble that the waters grew wilder with every knot toward them.

By the time we’d reached them, I’d strapped myself into the mechanic’s chair below deck because the boat was swaying raucously from side to side. Somehow, we attached a tow to the troubled cabin cruiser, and we towed them until the water was calm enough to bring the couple on board.

It turned out the couple were on their honeymoon. He said his name was Henry and his wife was Amanda. They were older, maybe ten years older than me. Henry had called for help because Amanda was having a medical emergency.

By the time we got them on board, his wife was gone, and we realized she’d probably been gone before we even attached the tow.

Isla and I both attempted resuscitation, but we knew it was too late. Henry had told us Amanda had complained of back pain and pain in her arm before she eventually succumbed to debilitating chest pain. It sounded like a heart attack.

We were just … too late. No one could have made it to them in time.

We towed them back to Leth Sholas, and I knew the sounds of Henry’s wailing grief, like a wounded animal, would live with me for a long time.

Isla and I left to bring the ambulance to Main Street, already having called ahead for an air ambulance. We drove the grieving husband and his late wife to the helipad outside town where the air ambulance arrived five minutes later.

When they’d departed, I’d hugged Isla because I could see the strain in her expression and knew this one had gotten to her too. The walls of the Leth Sholas Lifeboat Station were filled with certificates and awards for service, including individual awards for bravery. Isla was up there. I was up there with many awards to my name, and I didn’t say that out of smug, self-congratulations. It was just a fact. I’d dedicated a huge part of my life to emergency volunteering. Therefore, I’d seen horrific injuries and death, and we’d had some close calls of our own in that boat.

But there was something about tonight that wrecked me.