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“Aye, look at me.” His warm hands cupped my face. When I looked into his eyes, my breathing became labored.

“My world doesn’t move without you in it. You’ve been through a lot of shit, and I understand you feeling low, but don’t you ever say some crazy shit about you not being here anymore because I promise both our families would be grieving that day. Ain’t no Solly with his Honey Bee, and I mean that in every way. This is new territory for all of us, and it’s gonna take some time to adjust. Either way, we’re gonna get through this, and you’re gonna come out of this stronger than ever.”

“And what if I can’t come back from this?” I asked.

“It’s not an option. You will get through this, and I’m gonna be here every step of the way.”

“You do know it’s not your job to save me, right?”

“Then whose job is it?”

“My soulmate,” I answered, even though I wasn’t even sure I believed in those anymore.

“Then it’s definitely my fucking job.” He kissed my forehead, sending my body into a frenzy. Every touch from him sent electricity through me, but I did my best to hide it because I knew he would never feel the same way about me. I had been in love with Solomon Jackson since the first time my brother and his sister introduced us, and it had only grown stronger over the years.

We clicked instantly, and the closer we became, the more I wanted to love him and be loved by him. I thought we were on the same page until I made a move on him one night and he told me that we could never be more than best friends. My heart shattered into pieces that night, but I accepted his terms because it was better to have him as a friend than nothing at all.

Over the years, I watched him curve women, only entertaining them to get what he needed. To be honest, I preferred it that way because I knew that if he ever fell in love, my heart would be crushed forever. He was my person, but for some reason he didn’t see a future with me outside of friendship. I wanted him to be my forever. The person I married and had children with, but all he wanted was a lifelong friendship. It hurt sometimes, but there was nothing I could do.

It was one of the reasons I found myself settling for relationships that meant me no good. I used those men as a distraction because I couldn’t have the one man I wanted. I guess that was why I felt partially guilty about what happened with Rondell. He gave me countless ultimatums to cut Solomon off, but I refused. There was no negotiating where he was concerned. I couldn’t imagine a life without him, and I wasn’t willing to test it out.

“What the hell y’all mothafuckas in here doing with the door closed? I’m telling you now there won’t be no fucking in this mothafucka if you ain’t married.” Messiah burst through the room like a crazed man.

Instead of pulling away, Solo pulled me deeper into his arms.

“I’m grown as hell. Can’t nobody tell me where I can and can’t fuck. I’ll do it right in front of you if I wanted to,” he instigated.

“I’ll shoot you right in the chest. Don’t play with me, lil nigga. I love you like a brother, but that’s my blood sister. I’ll get rid of your body and comfort my wife while she searches for you. Play with something safe.” Messiah warned playfully.

“Damn, that’s cold-blooded. I thought we were close, Siah. You would really kill me behind your sister?”

“Peel your muffin cap back, blue, bitch. Honesty is my heart. Hell, I’m salty ol’ boy took himself out because I would bring his ass back to life and kill him again.” He shrugged like it was no big deal.

“Messiah, that’s not funny. Besides, you have nothing to worry about. Solo and I aren’t like that. He wouldn’t touch me with a ten-foot pole.” I giggled at my joke, then I realized I was the only one laughing.

“Yeah, I’m sure he has his own personal pole he would use for that. Anyway, keep this door open. You might fall or something and we need to be able to hear you.”

I stared at him, but he and Solo seemed to be having their own non-verbal conversation as they looked at one another.

“I need to holler at you when you finish with her. Wait, I don’t like the way that came out. Bring your ass downstairs with the rest of the fellas when you're finished in here.” Messiah gave Solo one last look before walking out.

“What was all that about?” I asked, even though I didn’t expect Solomon to have an answer for my brother's weird behavior.

“You know your brother is special. Anyways, you need to take a shower.”

“What are you tryna say? Do I stink or something?”

I sniffed my T-shirt to make sure I didn’t smell sour or musty. I wasn’t funky, but it was definitely time for me to get myself together.

“You don’t exactly smell like vanilla and sunshine, but that’s not why I said that. You’ve been cooped up in this room for days, and you’ve barely eaten anything. I normally wouldn’t speak on a woman’s hair, but it’s starting to look like a bird’s nest. You’re still beautiful; you just look a little unloved.”

I burst out laughing because I hadn’t expected him to say that. Sure, I had been neglecting myself, but I didn’t think it had gotten that bad.

“I can’t believe you!”

“What? You want me to lie to you? You know I can’t do that.” He tried to hug me again, but I pushed him off.

“Whatever. Can you go get my momma so she can help me take a shower? I don’t want to look homeless anymore.” I snickered.