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Not once did anyone make the moment about themselves or joke that they deserved the attention instead. Every congratulations felt genuine, and every slap on the back came with a giant grin. They were just as excited about me meeting a scout as I was.
I couldn’t stop smiling. It felt good—really good. Any worries I had about how the others would react had vanished.
When my phone vibrated in my pocket, I pulled it out expecting more of the same messages I’d received throughout the night. Some were from my dad, some from friends, and quite a few were from Jude and Wyatt just because they could. Our group chat had devolved into utter chaos.
You have 1 new voicemail.
Coach Kennedy.
My chest tightened uncomfortably, and the noise around me faded as I stared at the notification longer than I should’ve. I debated listening to the message. It would’ve been easier if he’d texted. It was easy to read a few words and then pretend they didn’t mean anything. A voicemail meant hearing his voice—the one I was working my ass off to be unaffected by. That part was a work in progress. I wasn’t sure there would ever be a day when Rhodes didn’t affect me.
And yet, for as much as hearing his voice would hurt, I was a glutton for pain, especially when Rhodes was involved. I couldn’t bring myself to ignore it.
Instead, I made up some flimsy excuse to escape the living room celebrations. I wove through the swarm of bodies until I slipped out back. I reciprocated the high fives and excitement thrown my way, all while heading straight for the cornfields for privacy.
Only when I was far enough away did I listen to the message.
“Look, I know I’m the last person you want to hear from right now,” Rhodes began, and I gripped the phone a little tighter. His voice was thick with emotion—the kind I wasn’t used to hearing from him. “And I deserve that. I’m not easy to be with, Theo. I know that. I’ve spent my whole life making sure no one could get close enough to hurt me.”
He faltered, and my breath caught in my throat. Vulnerability wasn’t something I’d ever heard from him. Rhodes had mastered composure and control. It was something I admired about him, even if I craved the messy parts of him.
“And I know… I know I hurt you instead,” he continued. “I’m not saying I suddenly have everything figured out—I don’t. I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing. I wish I could tell you this would be easy, but it wouldn’t be. I’m still your coach. I can’t… date one of my players.”
My stomach dropped out at the word date. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?
“We’d have to hide it, and you don’t deserve to be anyone’s secret. Certainly not mine. That’s not fair to you.” He sighed heavily, and I felt his exhaustion down to my bones. “I want to be that person, Theo. I just… I don’t know what that looks like. I just know… I just know that I want to tell you to be safe tonight… and I want to be able to tell you the door’s open when you’re ready to come home… to me.”
The message ended abruptly, and I stood there, dumbfounded. I’d convinced myself that this was over—that we’d never existed in a way that mattered. I’d told myself this was one-sided and that Rhodes could never love me.
And now… now, he was telling me he wanted to try.
For a long moment, I just stood there, staring at the cornfields like they’d tell me what to do next. My chest ached with every breath I took. I was impossibly torn. On one hand, this was everything I wanted. Just a chance with him. Just time to build something real. On the other, though, what if he wasn’t ready for this? What if he didn’t really want it, and he changed his mind? I wasn’t sure my heart could survive that.
“There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere.” Jude’s voice made me turn. His cheerful demeanor disappeared when he caught sight of the expression on my face. “What’s wrong?”
For one terrible moment, I considered telling him everything about Rhodes and me. I needed someone to tell me what to do, and Jude would never steer me wrong. In the end, I couldn’t. I settled on a roundabout way of asking for his advice.
“If you… if you loved someone, and you thought they didn’t love you, but it turned out there was a chance…” My voice caught in my throat. “What would you do?”
Jude didn’t answer right away. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he considered my question, all his humor gone. Something pensive replaced it. That look that showed up every once in a while when he thought no one was looking.
“Do you really want to know what I think?” he replied. “Or do you want an easy, Operation Get Him Back kind of answer?”
“I want to know what you think honestly,” I told him. The fun, romance-coded answers in Wyatt’s notebook could only get me so far. Rhodes didn’t fit into some romance formula, not with all the complex layers we had to work with.
“I think love asks for different things from different people,” Jude said softly. “Some people need grand gestures. There’s merit to that. But some people just need consistency, patience, and understanding as they work it out. Love isn’t easy for everyone to accept, and it’s not easy for them to admit either.”
Rhodes’ words echoed in my mind… I’ve spent my whole life making sure no one could get close enough to hurt me. It was clear that he was one of those people.
“Loving someone isn’t about asking what feels natural and comfortable to you,” he continued. “It’s about figuring out what makes them feel loved and then deciding if you’re willing to give them that.”
If Rhodes was ever going to love me—if we were going to make this work—I had to meet him where he was. It was easy for me to be all in. That was just who I was. But Rhodes needed more time to get there, and he needed my patience as he did. It wasn’t that he didn’t want it. It just wasn’t easy for him.
All the little implications in that voicemail meant more than the words themselves.
“If there’s a chance for you and this guy,” Jude added, “you should stop focusing on how scary the risk is and ask yourself if he’s finally trying to love you the way you need to be loved.”
He offered me a small smile.