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They knew who I was, and they’d told me to leave anyway.

“Shit,” Wyatt muttered. “I’m sorry, Theo.”

I shrugged. There wasn’t anything else I could do. If I said something too soon, I wasn’t entirely sure what would come out, and I didn’t want to cry in front of Wyatt. Not over this.

He seemed to understand and didn’t say anything else as he drove us across campus. I stared out the window, trying to occupy myself with everything but what was going on in my head. Students moved along the sidewalks, bundled against the cold and laughing with friends. Everything felt painfully normal while my life fell apart in the silence.

It wasn’t until we turned onto the street the frat house was on that I finally spoke up.

“Please, don’t tell anyone,” I asked. “Jude included.”

“What?” Wyatt glanced over at me. “Why—”

“I’ll tell him, I swear,” I said quickly, cutting him off. “He’s just got so much going on right now. He doesn’t need to worry about this too.”

Wyatt looked like he wanted to argue, and I couldn’t blame him. But the last thing I wanted was to become another problem in Jude’s life, especially when he was trying to figure out what his own life looked like. Telling him I’d been kicked out too could wait until he had a little more time to breathe.

And Rhodes didn’t need it either. The thought made guilt weave its way through my stomach. After everything he’d gone through over the last few days, I didn’t want him to drag himself out of his own grief because he thought he needed to take care of me.

I could carry this one alone—at least for a little while—if it meant he let himself feel and process everything.

“Okay,” he replied reluctantly. He parked his car on the street in front of the house and turned it off. “For the record, Jude will be pissed when he finds out you didn’t tell him.”

“Yeah, probably,” I agreed. He’d probably yell at me for five minutes and then demand to know why I thought I had to deal with it alone. “I’ll tell him. I promise.”

I didn’t wait for him to say more and climbed out of the car. I didn’t have the heart to argue about my choice. I opened the back and hauled out my bags, hating how much of my life was shoved into them.

“Hey, Theo,” Wyatt called after me as he jogged to catch up. Before I could protest, he grabbed one bag off my shoulder. He fell in step beside me. “If you need anything, just tell me, okay?”

“I just want to be alone right now,” I admitted. “Could you just make sure the guys don’t bother me?”

“Consider it done.”

“Thanks, Wyatt.”

“You know,” he began. “I know what it’s like to wonder why the people who are supposed to love you don’t, so while I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, I understand it. All I can tell you is that there’s nothing wrong with you. They’re the problem, not you.”

“It doesn’t feel that way,” I mumbled.

Logically, I knew being gay didn’t make me wrong. I’d never thought there was anything wrong with Rhodes. Or Jude. Or Wyatt. Or really any other queer person. But it was easier to believe that for everyone except myself when my own mother’s last words had practically been come back when you’re different.

“I know, but just remember… you’ve got more family than just your parents, Theo,” Wyatt said gently. “Don’t forget that, okay?”

Emotion clogged my throat, and I couldn’t answer without embarrassing myself, so I just nodded. Wyatt let the conversation drop. He kept walking beside me, carrying half my shit like it was nothing. I focused on putting one foot in front of the other because it was the only thing I had any energy left for.

CHAPTER 84

Rhodes

Icould’ve taken another day off. No one would’ve questioned it. McBride and O’Neal had been quick to offer to cover for me as long as I needed, and the Dean had already made it clear the team would survive without me for as long as I needed.

But I couldn’t stand another day sitting around my house with nothing to do but think or entertain Jude. Sariah had left last night for what promised to be the longest honeymoon on record—a year-long trip around the world with the possibility of it lasting longer. Of course, May had already offered Theo and me all the travel tickets we wanted to join them at any point.

But with her gone, it was just Jude and me in that house, doing nothing, and it was going to be the end of me if I had to endure it any longer. And so I went to practice.

The field gave me somewhere to put the restless energy I couldn’t seem to tame. There were drills to organize, plays to review, and mistakes to correct. Each one presented real problems with solutions and variables I could control.

Unfortunately, returning also meant dealing with people. I’d missed the part of my mom’s funeral where the entire team showed up. As a result, the players approached me one by one—or sometimes in awkward little groups—to tell me how sorry they were about Mom. A few hugged me, which I wasn’t a fan of, and some looked so uncomfortable trying to find the right words that I somehow ended up reassuring them through their own condolences.