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It clicked. This wasn’t about Florida. It was about the fact that I left him just as much as I left Everdale when I was eighteen. It was about the missed holidays and birthdays with nothing more than a quick phone call. It was about how it took me years to see him and how I had never checked on him.

My heart sank with that realization. I’d done a lot in the name of protecting myself, including sacrificing a relationship with my little brother. If Mom had never gotten sick, I never would’ve come back to Everdale—probably not even for a visit. It was easier to get them to visit me than convince myself to come back here.

And in doing so, I’d taught him to expect nothing but distance from me.

“You’re right. I will be going back to Florida,” I told him, hating the way his face fell when I said it. “But me going home isn’t the same as me leaving you, Jude.”

Sadly, he didn’t look convinced. I couldn’t blame him.

“I know I haven’t exactly given you a lot of evidence to support that statement,” I admitted. “And I know that’s my fault. But you and me aren’t the same people we were before I came back.”

Somewhere between football practices, dinners, arguments, ridiculous conversations, and the million other little moments I’d never known I was missing, Jude had become one of the most important people in my life—and that wasn’t out of obligation. It was genuine.

“You’re stuck with me, kid,” I promised. “Florida, Maine, wherever the hell either of us ends up, you’re stuck with me, and I mean that. Whatever you need, I’ll be there, and my home will always be your home.”

“Okay,” he whispered, blinking several times as he looked away toward a row of headstones. “I just don’t want everything to go back to how it was.”

The admission was so quiet I almost missed it, but I didn’t hesitate to respond.

“It won’t.”

I wouldn’t let it. I couldn’t undo the damage I’d done to our relationship, but if I had to spend a lifetime proving that to him, I would. Jude deserved better than that from me.

CHAPTER 81

Theo

Shush!” Jude held up a hand when I tried to speak. It was the fourth time he’d done so, but I shut my mouth nonetheless.

Next to me, Rhodes looked significantly less amused by the entire situation. His hands were folded around his leftover coffee from their breakfast out as he stared right back at his brother. Jude’s gaze bounced from Rhodes to me, then back again, studying us with enough concentration that I half expected him to pull out a notebook and start taking notes. Granted, this was Jude. He was probably taking notes in his head.

I tried very hard not to move, which was ridiculous. I was sitting at the kitchen table with my best friend and my boyfriend, and I’d never been so uncomfortable in my life. Jude’s unreadable expression didn’t help. I would’ve given anything to know what was going on in his mind.

Yesterday, I’d been shocked finding out that Jude knew. Now, I was realizing there was an entirely separate horror involved in actually sitting across from him while he processed the fact that his best friend was sleeping with his older brother.

“What the fuck are you thinking, Jude?” Rhodes snapped.

“I don’t know which one of you to threaten,” Jude said with a sigh. He what? “I can’t exactly threaten my best friend because… well, it’s Theo. And I can’t threaten you because you’re my brother—”

“And I’d kick your ass,” he retorted.

“You could try. Either way, do you know what kind of predicament you two have put me in?”

“Oh, yes.” Rhodes rolled his eyes. “Because we were thinking about you.”

Their familiar banter almost made me smile. After the last few days, watching Rhodes argue with Jude over something felt weirdly comforting. There was no grief or careful handling of each other. They were right back to being brothers who annoyed the hell out of each other from time to time.

“When did you figure it out?” I asked, trying to redirect the conversation before it turned into nothing but a back-and-forth snark fest between them.

“The Super Bowl party,” Jude told me.

“That long ago?” I blurted out.

“That was February,” Rhodes said at the same time.

“I know,” Jude replied. “And you are not as quiet as you think you are! Also, who does it in a bathroom at halftime? I mean, come on! I had to pee, and instead you were getting your freak on.”

My body went hot from head to toe, and my face turned red. He was absolutely talking about me. Of all the possible explanations Jude could’ve given, I really wished he would’ve had one that didn’t involve him accidentally overhearing one of the least appropriate decisions Rhodes and I had ever made.