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Instead, I drove right past the turn and kept going. My phone vibrated in the cupholder. Once. Twice. Three times. I didn’t look. I didn’t need to look to know who it was. Theo had started texting me before I’d made it out of the neighborhood. Every few minutes, he sent me a string of messages. I knew he was worried, but I couldn’t talk to him. I couldn’t talk to anyone. There were too many emotions colliding inside me, and all of them were fighting for space. I didn’t trust what would happen if I opened my mouth long enough to let any of it out.

My lip throbbed. I ran my tongue over my lip, tasting the blood that still lingered there. The metallic taste sparked flashes of my father’s face. The fight. The hit. The rage in his face. His words.

My hands tightened on the wheel as I drew in a sharp breath.

“Fuck,” I muttered.

I’d known. That was the part that got to me. For years, I’d known exactly how my father would react when I told him the truth—maybe not every detail. I certainly hadn’t predicted ending Thanksgiving with a busted lip. But the rejection? Yeah, I’d always known that would happen.

So why did it hurt this badly? Why did some pathetic part of me still feel like I’d been blindsided?

The roads in Everdale disappeared behind me as my mind faded into a place where autopilot did the driving for me. Dying trees shifted into a rocky coastline, where angry waves crashed against jagged rocks. I followed it all the way to Bracken Harbor on instinct. I navigated the narrow streets until I found my way to the gravel parking lot I knew all too well.

By the time I put the car in park, the adrenaline had begun to fade, only to be replaced by something worse. All those feelings I struggled to name crashed over me, and I folded over the steering wheel as an unsteady breath threatened to break me.

For a few minutes, I just sat there, trying to get my breathing under control with only the sound of waves against the shore. At least, until my phone buzzed again in the cupholder. I grabbed it. I had four missed calls and countless messages. Most of them were from Theo. I glanced at a few on my notification bar.

WOLF: Please answer me.

WOLF: I just need to know you’re okay.

WOLF: Rhodes.

That last nearly got me—just my name and nothing else. I could picture him as he said it. The worry mixed with pity. I wanted nothing to do with either, so I dismissed the notifications and went back to pretending they weren’t there. I climbed out of the car. I wasn’t dressed for the cold as I walked down to the beach. My sweater did fuck-all against the bitter wind coming off the water, but I didn’t care. I sat down anyway with just water and sky stretching in every direction.

I welcomed the dark and the quiet, but they did nothing to quiet the racing in my mind. My entire body was still shaking. I couldn’t make it stop. My anger came easiest, like it always had. I’d spent most of my life angry at him. But it wasn’t just that. It was every cruel word he’d said that somehow stuck with me, even though I didn’t want it to. It was the way he’d actually hit me. I hadn’t done a damn thing to stop it—to stop him. I could’ve. I was trained well enough to do so, but some stupid part of me didn’t want to hurt him. How fucking pathetic was that?

And then there was the anger at myself for ruining everything. If I’d just shut up and ignored him, I’d still be home with my family. Jude and I would probably be elbows deep in dishes with Theo helping while our parents talked after dessert. It would’ve been the memory my mom wanted.

I’d taken that from her.

I’d taken one of the few things she’d asked us for and ruined it.

I’d taken what should’ve been a happy, beautiful moment and turned it into something ugly.

There was no reasoning with the guilt that tightened my chest.

But underneath the anger and the guilt, fear unexpectedly weaseled its way through me.

Dad knew.

Mom knew.

Jude knew.

Theo’s parents knew.

Who knew how many nosy neighbors had heard the shouting and watched the whole thing happen?

The secret I’d protected most of my life was out there, and there was no putting it back—no way to control who found out next or what changed as a result. I had no control anymore, and that terrified me.

My phone buzzed again in my pocket, and I sighed. Despite how much I wanted to be left alone, I pulled it out anyway.

SARIAH: Why is Theo texting me like a madman and asking if I know where you are?

Fuck.

It really shouldn’t have surprised me that he texted her, especially since they’d exchanged numbers at her wedding. The fact that he’d thought of her at all made something in my chest twist painfully.