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I was going to spend the day with the Barracudas. An actual NFL team. The team that could theoretically draft me one day.
Holy shit.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready for this.
Rhodes let me sit with that for a few minutes, giving me just enough time to absorb that information before continuing.
“Cyrus Banks is the agent I hired for you,” Rhodes said. “I was able to put together a meeting for you while we’re in town. You and him are going to sit down and start discussing things. You’ve got a lot to think about going forward for the rest of this year and into next year. It’s not just as easy as wanting to be drafted. There are a lot of things to consider, and Cyrus will help you through the process.”
My agent.
I had an agent.
Technically, I already knew that. Rhodes had told me he’d hired someone, but this felt different. I was about to walk into a meeting with my agent.
“And after that,” he continued, “since he’s here, he’s going to make sure you get over to the Barracuda’s training facility. Walter will meet the two of you there.”
Something in my chest sank before I could stop it. I hadn’t realized until that moment that I’d been picturing Rhodes beside me for all of this. It was stupid—I knew that. This was my opportunity. My career. But Rhodes had become the person I instinctively turned to for advice, insight, and comfort. He was the steady presence that made the impossible feel manageable. The idea of walking into something this huge without him suddenly made the awe and excitement twist into something far more anxious.
“You’re not going with me?” I asked. Rhodes’ expression softened as he glanced over at me. That look on his face didn’t help how he probably thought it would.
“As your coach, it’s not a smart idea for me to be there with you,” he told me. “But we also have to play this one smart, Theo. At some point, our relationship will be public. These people will know that I was your coach. It could bring into question whether I favored you or not. The more disconnected I am from the process now, the better it’ll be for you in the long run.”
Well, that made sense—annoyingly logical sense. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Rhodes was just Rhodes. He was just the man I loved, the man who believed in me, and the man I wanted beside me when something mattered. But to everyone else, he was still Coach Kennedy. One day, if people looked back at how my career started, they could decide every opportunity came from being with Rhodes rather than my own talent.
I hated that. Not because I thought Rhodes had favored me. If anything, he’d probably worked harder to make sure he didn’t. But the idea that someone could reduce everything I’d earned to who I was sleeping with made heat creep up the back of my neck.
For the first time, I truly understood what he was trying to protect me from this whole time.
“I never thought of that,” I replied as I stared out the window, a little lost in my thoughts. Rhodes was silent beside me as he navigated through a busier part of town. Restaurants, boutiques, and cafés crowded together between palm trees and low stucco buildings. Pedestrians wandered through crosswalks and filled the sidewalks, deep in their own conversations.
Only when he turned into the café’s busy parking lot and found a parking spot near the back did I start to pay attention. Instead of shutting the engine off, he left the car idling and shifted in his seat. One hand braced on the back of my headrest as he took off his sunglasses.
“There is something else you should understand,” Rhodes began. His tone immediately put me on edge, playing off the anxious energy already coursing through me. I tried desperately to read the seriousness that settled over his face. Rhodes was a preface-things kind of person unless he’d already thought them through from every possible angle, which meant whatever came next probably wouldn’t be any smaller than anything else he’d brought up. “I know that you’re not ready to come out back home—to your friends and your family—and I understand that. Obviously, I understand that. But I also need you to understand that everything you do from here on out will be under a microscope. Being drafted is just as much about how you are, the image you put out there, what you’ve done, and what people think of you as it is about how well you perform on the field. They’ll talk to everyone in your life, not just me and the other coaches. Your friends, your family, your teammates. So, if you’re not ready to be out right now, I wouldn’t say anything about what you’re doing down in Florida other than that a friend got married. If you bring a boyfriend into the equation, it’ll raise questions, but it may get back to people you aren’t ready to tell yet.”
My stomach dropped a little more with every sentence. I’d slowly started thinking about coming out—about the conversations I’d have with people—but never thought about what if someone else told them first. The idea of strangers picking through my life, asking questions, and then carrying that information back home with me was awful. I wanted people to know about me one day and even Rhodes one day. I wanted that for my future, but on my terms, not someone else’s.
Rhodes must have seen something in my expression, because he brushed his fingers through my hair and offered me a reassuring smile.
“We’ll address it one day, Theo,” he promised, “but this may not be the best day to bring that up with your agent.”
“Yeah.” I nodded slowly.
“But if that’s what you want,” Rhodes continued, “if that’s how you want to start this journey, it’s okay. I can handle my end of things if it comes out.”
His offer hit differently after my conversation with Sariah. She’d warned me that Rhodes would hurt himself if he thought it’d make things easier for me, and while I hadn’t fully understood her then, I got it now. He was sitting there, calmly offering to put his own neck on the line—his job, his reputation, whatever fallout came with people finding out about us—if that was the path I wanted to take. He wasn’t asking me to protect him. He was making sure I understood the risks so I could choose myself and quietly making it clear that if my choice cost him something, he’d take the hit anyway.
The realization made my chest tighten. Rhodes talked a lot about being careful, about boundaries and consequences, and about doing the smart thing, but when it came down to it, he would choose what was best for me over what was safest for him.
“I’m not ready for that,” I said. I hoped my words would reassure him, but his expression never wavered. All he did was run his fingers through my hair once more as he just stared at me with the kind of intensity I felt in every inch of my body.
“I’m proud of you,” Rhodes whispered.
“I haven’t done anything yet,” I replied with a slight laugh. I hadn’t done anything worth being proud of.
“Don’t underplay how talented you are, Theo. You’ve worked your ass off to get here. You’re allowed to enjoy this meeting. You’re allowed to enjoy today,” he told me. “And I’m going to be proud of you for everything it took to get you here.”
That did something unfair to me. Praise from Rhodes always did insane things to me. And somehow, his I’m proud of you hit the same dangerous place as every previous good boy had, sending warmth swirling through my chest and making it ridiculously difficult to remember how to form a normal response.