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“Marry me,” he says confidently.

A part of me wants to say yes. I want to jump into his arms and scream yes, but I don’t think anyone should get married if there is still a part of them that isn’t sure yet. So I stay silent.

“Will you just think about it? Please? Take as much time as you need. I just need you to know that I’m ready to start the rest of our lives together, whenever you are.”

I have so much to try to process right now. I don’t know what the right thing to say is.

“I’ll think about it,” I repeat skeptically.

He rubs both of my arms, then kisses me on the forehead.

◆◆◆

It’s been three days since Sean asked me to marry him. It should be an easy question. Yes or no. Not maybe. Not, let me think about it.

I love Sean. He’s not perfect, but he’s close. It’s as if God worked a little bit harder on him. So why must I go back and forth so much?

I could say it’s because a year ago I was still married to someone else. I could say it’s because my dad died. And that is all that’s on my mind. Not marriage.

I have to sort through his things. I have to mourn him still, not plan a wedding.

I’m in his house, setting three piles aside. Trash, keep, and donate. A year ago, I was doing the same with my own things. I thought being back home was going to make things different. Still, here I am, going through things to sell a house.

I don’t wanna do this alone. But I can’t call Sean. Not until I have an answer for him.

I hit speed dial where Maggie’s name appears. She picks up after two rings.

“Do you need help?” she asks.

I told her I was at the house today cleaning things up. She stayed in town to see her family.

“Yes, please.”

Maggie arrives at the house only twenty minutes after we hang up the phone.

“Wait, wait.” Maggie throws her arms in the air, eyes wide. “He proposed to you?! Why are you only now telling me this?”

“I know—I know. I just wanted to figure it out by myself, but clearly I’m too indecisive. It’s crazy though, right?”

I’ve honestly been dying inside, needing advice. Even as an adult, you need girl talk.

“Ummm yeah, in the best way possible!” she yells, pushing my shoulder.

She did it playfully, but it actually hurt.

“You’re kidding. Maggie, I’m a divorcee. Why would I get married again so quickly?”

“Okay, first of all, you were married to a conceded jerk.” She laughs and I join in with her. “But this is Sean. Your Sean. Now he’s here, as handsome as ever, wanting to spend his life with you and you’re not sure?”

“Yeah…I guess,” I mumble, throwing old books into a box.

My dad loved thriller novels. He’s got quite a collection. I think I’m going to keep them for the bookstore.

It’ll be a used and new shop, so there will be lots of variety.

I’ve been doing a lot of planning the last couple of days as a distraction. I still haven’t found the perfect spot yet, but I’m making head way.

Maggie’s eyebrows curve questionably at me. “What do you mean, I guess?” she asks. “I hate when you say that. What’s stopping you? Aren’t you in love with him?” she scolds.