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“How much do you love me?” I ask.

“More than you’ll ever know,” he replies quietly.

“Then stay…please,” I beg.

“Baby, I have to go. It’s too late for you to ask me to stay.”

I want him to stay now more than ever.

“Why can’t I kiss you?” he asks.

“Because you’re leaving again. I don’t want to feel the same pain I did the first time. It’s easier this way.”

Or so I’m convincing myself.

“That’s not fair,” he says, throwing his head back against the seat. He stares out the window for a moment and then turns his body toward me again. He leans in, but not as close this time. His jaw closes tightly.

“I know it’s hard and maybe I’m a little dumb for having hope, but I’m gonna try until I die, Bee. I’m not letting you slip through my fingers.”

His words are like poetry that stick to my brain like a leech. I reach for his hand, but then recoil back.

“It might not be our time now, but I know we’ll end up together,” I emphasize.

I want to believe it. I do. But I think he needs to hear it more than I actually believe it to be true.

“Say less, Bee. I’m not letting you slip through. I promise you that. I would beat myself up if I did.”

All a girl ever wants is someone to fight for her.

We’re just a couple of kids. What do we know about love? We don’t know a thing about commitment. It seems so naive to even pretend. Sean constructs these narratives in his head that we’re going to figure it out. That we’re going to make it. I can’t disappoint him with the truth. I know Sean would just call me a pessimist, but I just can’t see it any other way.

Sean’s phone starts buzzing. He picks it up and sighs. “My mom is asking when I’ll be back. I should probably go.”

He leans in for a hug. I hold on to him a little too tightly, trying to take in his scent before he’s gone.

I can’t believe he’s already going to leave. It was like a small blip in time, and then he’s gone again.

“Goodbye, Sean,” I say solemnly.

“This isn’t goodbye, remember, try until I die.” He opens the car door and gets out. He holds his head down to see me one last time.

I know this is about to end.

“I love you,” he says, closing the door.

“Wait!” I shout.

He leans down. “Yeah?”

“Kiss me,” I request.

One last time.

He stares at me for half a second before climbing back into the car, shutting the door, and doing as I asked. He grabs my cheeks with both of his hands, caressing my face while moving his mouth slowly and perfectly over mine. He grazes his teeth against my lips.

“I love you so much,” he repeats.

I love you too. I’m sorry, Sean.