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My sight lingers on his mouth for a second too long before I look down at my shoes, trying not to trip over my own feet. I watch my long legs move beneath me, pleased that I decided to wear something flattering today. Paired with small wedges, my yellow sundress shows off my freshly shaven legs, looking as smooth as butter.

Sean nods at me, waiting for me to answer his question and taking me out of my conceded daze.

“I just wanted someone to walk with,” I admit.

“Well, lucky me.”

He’s so happy all the time, I wonder if he’s ever been serious in his entire life. It wouldn’t surprise me if his face got stuck with a permanent smile.

“No Rosie today?” he asks.

Rosie has been too busy with SAT prep and soccer to even step foot off of this campus. She’s hiding out in the library studying.

“Nope.”

“I never see you two around anymore. You used to be joined at the hip.”

Well, four years of friendship tends to break off a bit when one of the friends starts dating the guy the other one likes. I couldn’t give up the one friendship I have at this school, so we hang on by a thread nowadays. Even after she dumped him.

“Things are always changing,” I tell him.

“Speaking of…” He shoots me a sideways glance. “Did I tell you I enlisted in the army?” He tilts his brows uncertainly.

The army? He definitely did not tell me. I slump my shoulders noticeably, but attempt to reposition myself.

“Umm, no—you didn’t.”

Him being anywhere but here feels like a blow to the stomach. From a baseball bat. Wrapped in barbed wire.

His smirk starts to fade.

I didn’t hide my disappointment well enough. I try a fake smile and it works.

His eyes light up again.

“I’ll be leaving for Texas at the end of August.”

And Texas of all places? It’s so far…and flat.

“That’s really great. I’m happy for you.” I smile again, but this time it’s genuine. I am happy for him. He’s doing something with his life. It’s good to have a plan. I wouldn’t know anything about that, but it’s what we're supposed to be doing. It’s what everyone keeps telling us to do. I’m still trying to figure one out for myself.

“We’ll have to see each other more before I leave. Graduation is coming up, but we have the whole summer.”

“You want to hangout during the summer?”

“I’d spend my entire summer with you if you’d let me, Billie.”

As soon as the words slip from his mouth, the thought of Sean being something more than a friend devours my every thought.

◆◆◆

“Sean joined the army,” I tell Maggie, erasing the last differential equation I wrote down.

It’s wrong. It’s very wrong. I don’t think there is any universe where I’ll pass calculus.

“Wait, like the Sean? The one who always flirts with you?”

I nod at her through the phone camera.