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“Figure your shit out, Billie,” she’d said just two nights ago. “I knew exactly what I wanted to do at your age. I worked my ass off. You think that I’m scary? You should have seen my life growing up. You have no idea what struggle is. I saved you from a life of becoming a nobody drug-addict just like your mother. You’re such a selfish bitch.”

This was after she found a chocolate wrapper on the floor by my dresser. It always starts with something fatuous—then I get reamed.

I have to give myself a pep talk before I even open my bedroom door in the morning. You always have to be on guard around Eloise. If you don’t—you won’t survive.

I strain my face to keep it natural and not roll my eyes. As soon as she sees even a glimmer of anger on my end, it’s over with.

After waiting for a moment of courage, I finally come up with a convincing lie. I hate doing it, but it’s become part of my survival in this house.

“Rosie texted me. I forgot she asked me to come over and help her with a new song she’s learning on the piano. Can I go?” I peek over at Dad, trying to make it obvious I’m asking him, not Eloise.

“Whatever. I guess you’re an—” Eloise raises her hands mimicking quotations, “adult now.”

She gave me an answer that was in a way to demean me, but who cares? I finish the dishes, being as thorough as possible and race to my room without drawing too much attention to myself so Eloise doesn’t change her mind.

I text Sean back.

I’m on my way. 7:58pm.

He replies immediately.

I’ll be waiting for you. 7:58pm

◆◆◆

I park next to his truck in our usual spots at the back of the lot. The air is still warm from the scorching day we had. An array of orange and pink hues brush the clouds—it feels as if I’m sitting in a painting.

“Over here!” Sean yells as I step out of my car.

The football field and the parking lot share the same lot—the only thing dividing them is a gate that Sean is leaning against.

He's wearing his grey Carhartt sweatshirt. I should have brought something too. It’s a breezy night and I get cold easily. My dad likes to joke it’s because he thinks I’m cold blooded. My response is always, “I believe you’re thinking of Eloise,” followed with a laugh.

At least we can joke about the terror she reigns.

“What are we doing here? You do realize we graduated a week ago, right?” I scrutinize.

He fakes a laugh, rolling his eyes. “I just wanted to show you something,” he says while grabbing my arm and pulling me closer to the fence.

I look down to follow where his gaze has landed.

It’s a pad lock securing the gate door.

“It’s locked.” I raise one eyebrow at him.

“I know.” He smiles a little too confident for my liking.

“You’re not breaking it. Sean—we’re gonna get in trouble!” I whisper-yell at him as I look around to make sure no one sees us. There isn’t a person in sight.

He moves closer to me. “You’re such a scaredy-cat.” His face is full of mischief. “Don’t worry, we're not breaking in.”

I sigh in relief all too soon.

“We’re just gonna climb.” He points his finger up toward the top of the fence with a shrug.

“You’re joking,” I snort.

I don’t enjoy breaking rules. Eloise would bury me in the backyard if she knew what I was doing. Not only did I lie about where I was, but also who I was with.