Page 82
“Why not?” I was already in too deep. I might as well go all the way. “Because you’ll be upset? Because then you’d have to face your feelings instead of trying to bury them beneath your stupid caveman act? Tell me what happens if I go down that road, Noah, because I’m real tired of trying to guess where you’re taking us.”
His throat worked with a hard swallow. He dropped his hand from my face, but my skin still burned.
“Why did you follow me here when your date is waiting for you outside?” This time, my question was the one with the bite.
His eyes narrowed with dark satisfaction. “Jealous, little bird?”
Little bird. A nickname he’d never called me before. Coming from his lips, it sounded like an endearment and a curse rolled into one.
“I’m as jealous of her as you are of Samson. So ask me again. Am I jealous?”
The satisfaction vanished. His jaw ticked again, and I huffed out a sardonic laugh.
“That’s what I thought. Either tell me something real, or let me go.” When he still didn’t speak, I shook my head, frustration tightening my lungs. “You can’t, can you? You’ve been so repressed for so long that you can’t even distinguish between what’s real or not. If this is a case of you can’t have me so no one else can, then leave me out of it. I have no interest—”
I broke off with a sharp breath when Noah’s hand came up again to grasp my jaw. His grip was like iron, hard and desperate at the same time.
“You want to talk about real?” The ice was completely gone. So was the restraint. “What’s real is how you walked into my life and turned it upside down without even fucking trying. I can’t walk into a room without looking for you. I can’t leave a room without missing you. When I think about you, I want you so goddamn bad my entire body aches with it. Jealous doesn’t begin to describe what I feel when I see you with another man because I know you can never be mine. But I can’t stop fantasizing about us anyway, and I hate myself for it. Is that fucking real enough for you, Carina?” He bit out my name with enough acid to singe the air.
It stripped away my layers of bravado, leaving me vulnerable and exposed.
An odd ringing filled my ears. The ground fell away, and if he hadn’t been holding me so tightly, I was sure I would’ve tumbled into the abyss.
I’d suspected Noah had feelings for me. I’d even goaded him into admitting it. But I hadn’t been prepared for the rawness of his confession, or the tortured self-loathing behind his words. If he were anyone else, I would’ve questioned the veracity of his statements. They were too intense, almost too good to be real.
But this was Noah. I knew what he said was real because I felt the exact same way about him.
“Yes,” I whispered. “It is.”
Noah stared down at me, his grip pinning me in place. For a fraction of a second, I was sure he would push me away and leave. Then, with a helpless groan, he dragged his hand to my nape and fused his mouth to mine.
Tingles exploded inside me. The pressure of his hand on my neck settled heavier between my thighs, and I instinctively arched into him, my nails digging into his arms. My breaths came out in soft pants, and I made an embarrassing noise of pleasure when he deepened the kiss.
This. This was how a kiss should feel. Not nice and pleasant, but fierce and all-consuming. Lightning wrapped in yearning and drenched in need.
I’d only ever experienced that with one person. It wasn’t possible with anyone else.
Noah groaned again. The vibration ran through my chest and straight to my core. “Fuck. You’re going to be the death of me.”
I was so lost in my haze I barely noticed we’d moved until my back hit the wall. A fog had permeated my brain, heightening my senses and dissolving my inhibitions. I was intensely aware of how cold and unforgiving the mahogany panels were, and how hot and hard Noah was. The stark contrast between the two sent another pulse of lust through me, and my dress suddenly felt too abrasive against my sensitized skin.
I wanted it off. I wanted…
Noah’s mouth left mine, and I lost my train of thought. I managed to catch half a breath before he kissed his way down my neck, and oxygen became scarce again.
My head lolled back, silently begging him for more. He paused at my collarbone, his breath warm against my skin.
“Keep going,” I panted. Every inch of me was on fire. He’d barely touched me, and I was already aching with need.
“So greedy,” he murmured, his voice edged with amusement, but he obliged. He pressed his mouth against the hollow of my throat, and a full-body shiver rippled through my body.
My collarbone. My shoulder. My chest.
Every touch of his lips against my skin fanned the flames inside me. I wasn’t wearing a bra, and my nipples tightened into stiff points that rubbed against the thin cotton fabric of my dress with every breath.
Another shiver ran through me when Noah slid one strap down, then the other, until my breasts were fully exposed. Goose bumps pebbled at the cold air, but my limbs were heavy and languid as he took me in. Those steely green eyes dragged slowly down my body like he could hear every thump of my heart, feel every throb of my desire. When they made their way up to my face again, they were filled with such voracious hunger that my knees nearly buckled from the force of it.
“Play with yourself for me.” It wasn’t a request.