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She reached for the buttons on his shirt, then paused. “I can’t.”
Jim slowly lowered her to the floor.
She stared at him. “Did I just say that?” she asked. Her mind was a blank. Had she thought the sentence or really said it? “I didn’t mean it. Of course I can do this. I want to do this.” How could she not want it? She was more aroused than she’d ever been in her life. But…
Jim’s breathing was still ragged. Need tightened the lines of his face and his eyes burned with fire. He pushed his hair off his forehead, then sucked in another breath. “You’re right,” he said slowly. “We can’t do this.”
“No, I’m not right.” She told herself to take off her shirt or his shirt or something. But she couldn’t seem to move. She squeezed her eyes shut. “I can’t believe I’m being sensible. What a horrible time to start a nasty habit.”
He gave a strangled laugh. “One of us has to be.”
“No, we don’t. There’s no law that says being sensible is required.” She looked at him. “I want you.”
He took her hand and placed it on the hard bulge in his jeans, then released her. “I want you, too. But there are too many reasons not to do this.”
“I love my job,” she said glumly. “You’re my boss. That would make this kinda tacky.”
“Agreed. There’s also the fact that neither of us wants to get involved. I like having you as my friend. Becoming lovers would change everything.”
She leaned forward and hugged him. “I’m sorry I started this.”
“I’m not, although we’ll have a hell of a time pretending it never happened.”
She laughed. Her body ached with a desperate kind of need she’d never experienced before. They’d come within seconds of doing it right against her living-room door with her daughter due to wake up at any moment. She wasn’t on birth control and doubted Jim had any with him. Despite all that, she could still laugh with him.
“I think I should go,” he said. “If I stay here much longer, there’s no telling what could happen.”
“On the contrary. I think we know exactly what would happen.” She was still confused about everything, most especially how they’d gone from friendly to passionate in less than ten seconds.
He kissed the top of her head. “Friends?” he asked.
She stepped back and nodded. “Absolutely. I’ll see you on Monday.”
“Have a good evening,” he said, and was gone.
Heather closed the door behind him and tried to figure out what had just happened. Although she could replay the events in her mind, she wasn’t at all sure what they meant. Was she crazy or was Jim? Maybe it had been the emotional conversation before dinner. Oh, well. They were going to have to figure out a way to put this behind them.
She headed for her daughter’s room, clicking on lights as she went, then paused in the hallway. For the first time since she’d moved into the apartment, the small space felt too quiet and too empty. As the tingles in her tummy faded, something else took their place. It was only after she’d fed Diane and put her back to bed that she realized the odd, almost hurting knot in her stomach was loneliness. She found herself in the painful position of wanting the one thing she couldn’t have.
* * *
“I know you think she’s attractive,” Flo said as she dropped several flight-record books on Jim’s desk.
Why did women always do this to men? Jim wondered. Start a conversation with the sole purpose of setting the guy up. “She’s cute,” he said cautiously.
“Cute? She’s more than cute. You think she’s a pretty hot number and I want to know what you intend to do about it. You can’t sit on your butt forever. In case you were wondering, there isn’t another man in her life.” Flo leaned forward, bracing her arms on his desk. “Women like her don’t come along every day. You’re crazy if you let her go.”
“Heather and I are friends, nothing more,” he said, ignoring the memory of the kiss they’d shared the previous weekend and the swift and rather predictable physical result of those memories. Pray God Flo didn’t ask him to stand up right now, or she’d get an eyeful.
“That is so much bull, I’m sorry I’m wearing open-toed shoes.” Flo glared at him. “What are you waiting for? She’s single, attractive, smart and a great mother. You’re devoted to her daughter. Heather hasn’t gone into detail, but you don’t have to worry about Diane’s father showing up any time soon.”
He was startled to realize that he knew more about Heather’s personal life than Flo did. She trusted him. He’d always known that she did, but hearing proof gave him a warm feeling in his chest. It matched the heat down below. Neither of which counted for spit.
“I don’t do commitment,” he said firmly. “I’m not the right man for Heather.”
Flo straightened. She wore a sleeveless shirt tucked into a straight skirt, both yellow. Her summer tan was more freckles than brown skin, and she had a big yellow flower in her red hair. She looked charming and he wanted to tell her. Even so, when her gaze narrowed and she stared down at him, he knew better than to change the subject. Flo wasn’t kidding about any of this.
“All right. I’ve given you your chance. If that’s how you really feel, I know a couple of college professors who would be very pleased to meet someone like Heather.”
