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There are worse things, she reminded herself. Jim was a lot of fun and he genuinely cared about her and her child. Maybe he was a little too indulgent, but they could both survive that.
They walked to the elevator, then waited to go down to the basement. Heather noticed a couple of women glancing at Jim with a hint of longing in their eyes. That she understood completely. He was too good-looking by far. She still had trouble when he smiled and flashed his dimple. Her thighs quivered just at the thought. He was tall and strong and smart and gentle and…And she’d better watch herself or she’d end up doing something silly, like falling for him.
Five minutes later, Jim stood in front of Diane. He held several dolls in each arm. “Which do you like the best?” he asked.
Diane blinked but otherwise didn’t respond.
“You’re ignoring me,” Jim said patiently. “I’m going to hold these up one by one and you let me know which one you want.” He held up the first doll, a cloth beauty with cotton curls, and shook it. Diane yawned.
Heather stood by the stroller. “You shouldn’t be doing this. I’ve already said she has more stuff now than she’ll ever play with. She’s a baby. Toys aren’t that important.”
“I know all that, but what you keep forgetting is that I’m not just doing this for her. I’m doing it for me. I like buying her things.” He returned his attention to Diane. “Okay, so none of these work. Let me get another batch.”
He walked down the aisle, both putting the dolls he already had back in place and collecting new ones. Heather didn’t know whether to laugh or strangle him.
“Your husband is very devoted to his daughter,” a voice said from behind her.
Heather turned and saw an older woman smiling at her. She held several toys in her arms.
“I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation,” the woman continued. “You have a very lovely family. That’s nice to see.”
Rather than trying to explain the situation, Heather said, “Thank you. I feel very lucky.”
The older woman waved and walked toward the cashier.
Heather stared after her. No doubt she and Jim did look like a married couple out with their baby on a Saturday afternoon. A wave of sadness and longing swept over her. Part of her wanted it to be true—if not with Jim, then with someone else. There were times when it was difficult to be alone.
But she’d already had her chance. Three chances, in fact, and each time she’d struck out. Was she really willing to try again? She knew how to be a good single parent because she’d grown up with one. She wasn’t afraid of taking care of Diane on her own. Yet sometimes she was lonely and wanted more. Was that person Jim? She looked at the man patiently trying to get her eleven-week-old baby to pick out a doll. How was she supposed to resist him? How could she not? Nothing in her life had allowed her to experience a relationship with a normal, loving guy who wanted the same things she did. Why would she think her luck was about to change now?
* * *
Heather heard Jim’s tuneless humming as he prepared the barbecue for their steaks. She finished burping her daughter, then set Diane down to sleep.
“I love you, sweet cheeks,” she murmured as she stroked her baby’s face. Diane made a soft cooing sound, more breath than vowel, but it was enough to make Heather smile. “You’re a special little girl, aren’t you?”
Heather pulled the drapes shut, then stepped out of the room and into the hallway. She followed the sound of Jim’s voice and found him on the patio, carefully lighting the charcoal he’d poured into the barbecue.
“This will take a little time to heat up,” he said without turning to look at her. “Give me thirty more seconds and I’ll join you inside.”
She moved back into the living room. As she did so, she wondered how he’d known she was behind him. She didn’t think she’d made any noise, nor was she wearing perfume. He’d just known. The way she sometimes knew things about him.
It was just the result of their spending several evenings together each week, she told herself. They were friends, nothing more. But she couldn’t help the warmth that spread through her or the flash of fear that followed. What was that expression? Damned if she did and damned if she didn’t.
Two large bags stood by the front door. They were the wedding presents Jim had purchased earlier that day for Rick and Lupe’s wedding. Heather had steered him clear of an incredibly ugly, incredibly expensive ceramic clock and had instead persuaded him to buy several items from their gift registry.
She glanced around the room. On the sofa was a big bag containing a stuffed bear several times larger than Diane. Jim had insisted it was exactly what the infant needed, and that as she got older, she could sleep with it and never have to worry about being afraid of monsters in the closet. Heather didn’t completely agree with his reasoning, but she’d given up protesting after about ten minutes of heated argument. Some things just weren’t worth winning.
Her gaze moved to the new mini blinds in the living-room window. Mini blinds she’d purchased six months before but had never found time to hang. In the kitchen and bathroom she had new towel racks, and her bedroom furniture had been shifted so that the morning sun no longer shone directly into her eyes. All compliments of Jim. He’d also put together most of Diane’s furniture and fixed the baby monitor when it had suddenly stopped working.
“You’re looking serious about something,” Jim said as he came in the back door. “Everything all right?”
“Yes.” She pointed to the sofa, then went into the kitchen to get him a beer. She collected a glass of water for herself. “I was just thinking about everything you’ve done in the house,” she said as she returned and took a seat at the opposite end of the sofa.
He paused in the act of opening the bottle and frowned. “Are you going to get all feminist on me and tell me that you resent a man helping?”
She laughed. “Not at all. I appreciate your help. Most of the stuff I could have done on my own, but I’m willing to admit that it was nice to have assistance.”
He didn’t look convinced.
