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I go through her dresser, picking out clothes and holding them to my face. I’m not as coarse as my son, and I won’t steal her belongings to use for my own satisfaction. I have my memory and imagination for that.

I pull open the bottom drawer and pause, frowning. Instead of clothes, the drawer is filled with sheets of paper. Drawings. Reaching in, I take one out and study it. What the hell is this? It’s nothing like her normal work, which is delicate and lifelike and brilliant. No, this is a landscape of wretched scribbles, like she’s gripped a pencil as hard as she can, closed her eyes, and let it rip.

All the other pictures in the drawer are the same. One after another, I leaf through them, trying to make out what the hell they’re supposed to be. Why did she draw these? I know her mental health can’t exactly be in a good place right now, and who could blame her, but I hadn’t known this kind of darkness existed inside of her.

How did I not notice? Have we broken her?

I grit my teeth, unsure how to proceed. Should I confront her about what I’ve found? If I do, I’ll need to admit to going through her personal space. Our relationship is so fragile right now. I should never have allowed her to put me on such a high pedestal. I tried to be everything to her—lover, father, friend, savior. It’s no wonder I let her down.

I can’t do anything to break the tentative bonds we’ve begun to reforge.

Mind made up, I slide the drawings back into the drawer. I didn’t think to check what order they’d been in, but I hope she won’t notice they’ve been disturbed.

I hope she’ll feel better after spending some time in the fresh air with Levi. I trust my son fully to keep her safe. He knows these mountains even better than I do. He’ll recognize if the weather is about to turn.

A thought occurs to me. What if she asks him to help her escape Windridge Hall? If she told him she would take him with her, that they could be together, just the two of them, would he be tempted? I see how my son looks at her, with a hunger that almost devours him.

As much as I want to believe Levi would never do that, he’s fallen hard for her, and men in love do stupid things.

While Levi might happily leave me, I can’t believe he would ever abandon Dov. He loves his brother. He’d hero worshipped him before the accident, but afterward, their relationship changed. Levi became Dov’s spokesperson. He put himself between his brother and the rest of the world.

It’s the reason Levi isn’t jealous of Dov’s relationship with Aspen. He’s just grateful she’s brought him out of himself.

I’m grateful, too. She’s been good for us, even if it might not have felt it all the time. I’ve never known Levi to take a woman hiking before. Normally, he’s not interested in them in any way outside of the bedroom.

But those drawings trouble me.

The darkness has a way of slipping in over the winter months. I know she’s experienced some of what the hotel conjures at this time of year, but I’m concerned that it’s slipping inside her without her being aware.

Is that the reason I’ve been seeing that freaky version of her?

I can feel the place closing in with every passing day. The longer we’re isolated here, the more powerful it becomes. I’ve seen things, too—the shadows in the hallways, the certainty I’ve caught someone out of the corner of my eye, or behind me in a mirror, only to turn and find no one there. In any other place, I’d have dismissed it as an overactive imagination—not that I really have one of those—but not here. I know the things I’m seeing are as real as anything else here.

The nightmares have started again, too. I’m never troubled in my sleep during the lighter months, but when we get cut off, they plague me every night. I’m normally trying to save one of the boys, but now Aspen features in my dreams, too. It shows how much I truly care about her for my subconscious to torment me with my fears of losing her.

I could have sent her away to keep her safe. I could have put money in her pocket and rented her an apartment a long way from here. But I didn’t. I was a selfish son of a bitch, and I chose to keep her here, even though I know the three of us could be a danger to her…

No, it’s not the three of us, not really. It’s the hotel. The way it could use us if we’re not strong enough to keep it out. The manifestations and the hotel’s memories aren’t dangerous on their own, but if they sneak inside our heads, all bets are off.

28

ASPEN

I feel better after our hike.

My muscles feel like they’ve woken up, my lungs like they’ve remembered how to breathe, my heart like it’s started beating again. Maybe that’s all I need to get through the remainder of winter. Just to get out and about a bit more. Of course, the weather is the master of that happening. Sometimes it simply isn’t possible.

I’d stripped off most of the snow gear as soon as I got in, but the rest of my clothes feel a little damp and I want to change. My fingers and toes are cold, too. A hot shower or bath would help me to warm up, though I’m not sure I have the energy. Perhaps I’ll just get into bed and warm up under the covers.

A man’s strong body would heat me up fast enough.

Am I disappointed that Levi didn’t try anything when we got back? He’d just kind of made his excuses and left.

There had been a moment on the mountainside where I’d thought he’d been about to tell me he loved me. But this is Levi—the man who prefers cruel words to expressions of love. It’s never even occurred to me that he might feel anything for me other than what we share physically. I didn’t think he had it in him.

But a change had come over him when we’d been playing in the snow. He’d looked at me differently, and my heart had caught.

How much of his cold demeanor is there to protect his heart? And what does love even mean to Levi? Is it safe to love him?