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“I can’t give Drake an answer. If I say yes, it’s permanent, and I need a few decades to process that, and if I say no, it’s not going to be pretty. We do not want war with the Chinese dragons. I cannot stress this enough. His family scares the shit out of me. I need to hang on to my maybe as long as possible, but I do kind of want my eyes back.”
“That’s fair.”
“I do pretty well without them though, you’ve gotta admit. I’ve developed some extra… perks out of the deal.” She performed a few precise moves.
“If you could see my face, you’d know I was suitably impressed by your blind kung-fu.”
“I knew you’d appreciate that. But back to the plan.”
“Again. Fucking yikes.”
“Yes. Fucking yikes. You need to steal my eyes back.”
“Seems reasonable. Where are they?”
“Well, that’s the problem. Drake doesn’t actually have them. Our daddy dearest—”
“Ew, don’t call him that,” I had to interrupt.
“Fair enough. Our evil father has them. It’s a whole thing. But I think I know where he is, kind of.”
“Kind of?”
“I’m working on it, okay? He’s on the move, but I’m spying and using my other senses and shit, and now that I have contact with you again, I’ll pin it down and tell you and you, Caleb, and Christian can go, ya know, slay him and get my eyes back.”
“We’ve actually got a whole druid task force ready for slaying rogue Viking dragons,” I told her. “So your half-assed plan might be doable if we get a location.”
“It’s like three-quarters assed, okay?”
“Fair enough. So you’re actually going to stay with this guy?” I asked her since that seemed to be how the spying part would go down.
“For now. Aside from the blackmail thing we get along.”
“That’s good to hear,” I said sarcastically.
She shrugged. “That’s all I’ve got. Now tell me where you flew off to for so long.”
“What made you say it was another plain of existence?”
“Drake said so, and he seems to know a lot more dragon shit than we do. By the way, do you know how worried I was?”
“Ditto, sis. Ditto. And I was… giving birth.”
Her confused, disgusted expression was gratifying. “What in the ever-loving fuck did I just hear?”
I laughed. “I laid an egg.”
She twisted her fingers in her ears as though to clear them out. “I’m sorry. I think I’ve lost my mind. Say that again?”
“I have a son now. His name is Conan, but he still hasn’t hatched.”
Her mouth just kept opening and closing like she couldn’t find words.
I laughed harder.
“Are you fucking with me?” she finally managed to ask.
“I swear it’s all true.”
