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“Okay. I won’t do anymore. I’m done . . . as fuck.”

“Have you ever been separated from her for so long before?” Christian asked.

It was some time later and we were lounging in the pool. We’d been people watching, aka giving nicknames to strangers.

I was startled by the unexpectedly serious question out of the least serious guy I knew. “Oh Gods, yes. We’ve been apart for years. Once for decades. Near the end of that, I thought I’d never see her again. Those were dark times, and the way we found each other again is… unprecedented. You’ll have to find a really good bribe to get me to tell you that story.”

He looked like he was thinking about it. “Noted.”

“I mean really good.”

“You know how I love a challenge.”

“You are underestimating how much I don’t want to tell that story.”

“You’re just getting me more excited.”

“Barf.”

His grin died suddenly. “Seriously, though, Jillian, how are you holding up? I know this is killing you.”

I shut my eyes, bringing a hand up to rub at my tired temples. Anything to distract from the tears that suddenly wanted to burn into my lids.

“I’m fine. Or I’ll be fine. We just need to find her, Christian. We’ll deal with whatever they’ve done to her after.” My voice broke just a bit on the last sentence, and I felt one of his big hands squeezing my shoulder reassuringly. They’d had her for a long time, and I had no idea just what they were capable of. Every second that I’d been away, out of my senses as I gave birth, may have been a precious second for Lynn. Even now a clock was ticking away in my head, trying to do the math for all of the potential damage.

“We’ll kill them all, Jillian. Everyone that helped to take her. Everyone that’s hurt her. They’re all gonna die. I promise you that.”

It was so like Christian to deal with his pain with a body count, but I found it reassuring even if I knew that we couldn’t have vengeance when my only concern was getting her back alive.

Still, there was something inside of me that had grown, was growing, something harsh and ugly, filthy, and it would only be washed clean with more pain.

I knew myself well enough to know that I’d get there when the time came.

I would have someone’s blood for this.

Rivers of it.

So much for zen af.

CHAPTER TEN

THE OTHER BIG EX

“I’m not ready to talk to you,” I told Dom as he approached our group alone. Several of his henchmen waited a ways behind watching him nervously. They were all in suits now, looking more like mob goons than druids while they were amongst the gen pop.

“I understand your anger, but you have to know I’d never put you in danger.”

“I used to think that.”

“Don’t say a thing like that to me. It’s uncalled for.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I needed to know if you could sense a slayer without being told. That seemed like the only safe way to do it. In my presence, under my protection, and with a geas. You were never in danger. Can you understand now?”

“I don’t appreciate being kept in the dark, even if you have a reason for it. If we’re going to work together, you don’t get to do that. It’s my last warning. I’ll walk, Dom, I swear to the gods.”

“Understood. Again, I apologize. I didn’t think you’d take it that way.”