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“But fifteen months ago, I still would’ve made the same fucking decision.”
Her lips part. Whatever she expected me to say, it wasn’t that.
“You had just entered treatment, Charm. You were learning how to eat without punishing yourself for it. You were trying to survive a day without measuring whether you deserved to exist inside it. I wasn’t going to drop an investigation, your father’s lies, and the possibility that my career was fucked into the middle of that.”
“So you lied.”
“I kept something that happened to me away from you.”
“Everyone lied!” she shouts. “You don’t get to change the word because silence sounds more honorable!”
“Then call it a lie.”
Her eyes flash. “Fine. It was a lie.”
“I can carry that.”
“I’m so glad one of us can!”
She sweeps her arm across the bed. A shoe tumbles from the comforter and strikes the floor while the open journal flutters beneath the movement.
“I spent months convincing myself I was rebuilding my life honestly,” she says. “Meanwhile, every person who supposedly loved me had a separate meeting about what Charm couldn’t be trusted to know.”
“That isn’t what happened.”
“It’s exactly what happened!”
“No. Your father attacked my career. I decided you weren’t becoming part of the defense.”
“He did it because I loved you.”
“He did it because he’s a prejudiced, controlling piece of shit who couldn’t tolerate losing.”
“He used my illness!”
“That was his choice.”
“He used photographs of my body!” Her voice breaks, but she pushes through it, both hands striking her chest. “He gave strangers information about my treatment and our sex life. He took the ugliest parts of me and used them to almost ruin everything you worked for. How am I supposed to stand here and pretend that doesn’t belong to me?”
“I’m not asking you to pretend it has nothing to do with you.”
“You’re telling me I’m not allowed to take responsibility.”
“I’m telling you to take responsibility for the right fucking thing!” My restraint finally fractures, and my shout drives her backward against the bed. “You betrayed me inside the study. Lance tried to destroy my career after I left. Those are two separate choices made by two separate people!”
“He never would’ve done it if I had chosen you!”
“You don’t know that!”
“I know Lance!”
“So do I!”
The answer cuts through the room. Charm folds both arms over her stomach and turns away, staring at the suitcase while her shoulders shake.
“I spent this entire weekend making a fool of myself.”
“No, you didn’t.”
