Page 186
“We won’t.”
I rarely needed Zeke to be the brave one, but with wards outside blocking me from leaving the house or tearing Alonia apart to find Raelynn, I was out of options.
I couldn’t even track her phone. She’d left it with Kavina.
“Come on. We need to talk with Ezra and Ash.” He surveyed the room, his gaze settling on my shredded mattress as he forced a smile that didn’t last. “Looks like we’re sleeping in my room for a while.”
As soon as we got downstairs, Zeke collapsed onto the couch, breathing as if he’d run up and down the driveway a dozen times. His pale blue shirt looked damp around the neck and armpits.
Ash wasn’t doing any better, slumped against the back of the couch, feet on the coffee table. His hair was disheveled, the braids fraying. I didn’t know the last time he’d taken care of them.
He’d stopped speaking for the most part after day four. Every time he tried to, he struggled against something we couldn’t see, his voice hoarse and breathing labored. He needed to stay quiet and still to keep Bondrot from taking him from us.
I paused as Ezra strolled out of the kitchen as if nothing were wrong.
He couldn’t fool me.
We’d been with him too long not to see how rigidly he held himself. Not the stick-up-his-ass, repressed-as-fuck prince he played for Cornaith and the people. This was different. He was struggling to hold himself together.
“Make him take the wards down.”
Ezra looked at me as he stepped into the conversational pit and settled on the couch. “In what world do you believe I have control over Father’s directives?”
“You can try.” I leaned forward, bracing my hands on the chair near the bottom of the stairs. “You can do absolutely anything except sit there like you don’t care.”
“You need to calm down. Getting worked up isn’t helping your condition.”
The back rungs of the chair snapped in my hands as I squeezed them.
“Cyn,” Zeke said. “Come sit down.”
“I can’t!” I could hardly get the words out, gasping for air as the outburst stole my breath. I lowered my voice. “We need to be out there searching for her.”
“But the wards—”
“Wouldn’t be a problem if Ezra would convince daddy dearest to fucking take them down.”
Ezra’s eyes cut to me as he propped his ankle on his thigh. “I spoke to Father earlier today about allowing us to join in the search for Raelynn.”
“Wait.” Zeke sat upright. “They sent out a search party?”
“They’ve been searching Alonia and the surrounding towns all week.”
My upper lip curled. “You could have said something.”
“When would be the best time to do that? When you’re destroying furniture and breaking all of your possessions? Or perhaps when you’re screaming obscenities in the backyard as if Father can hear you?”
“At least it’s obvious I give a damn. You seem perfectly fine with her gone.”
“You know he’s not,” Zeke said, trying to be the voice of reason. His breath caught as pain doubled him over. He breathed through it, leaning back into the nest of throw pillows and blankets he’d made on the sofa.
Ash’s brows knotted as he whispered, his voice cracking, “Little Blackbird?” He opened his eyes. They appeared glazed and unfocused. When no one said anything, his eyelids fluttered, and he closed his eyes again.
I turned to Ezra. “And what about Ash?”
“What about him?”
I followed Ezra’s gaze to Ash, who’d fallen asleep again, but something didn’t seem right.
