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I am too hurt about everything as well.

“I am thankful for that, but I won’t ever trust you. You said that you didn’t kill my father, so where were you the night of my father’s death?” My question erases the soft look in his eyes, and that predatory stare is back.

“You better stop.” His tone frightens me; I don’t relent, though.

The night has fully fallen, and it takes a while before the street lights are turned on. The only reason I can see Noa is because of the hospital’s lights in the distance. They cast a soft shadow over him, and even now I can see how gorgeous he is.

Stop, Lana.

“No. You don’t get to dictate how I am grieving! Where the fuck were you?” I am screaming at this point while he stays calm.

“I can’t tell you; nobody will ever know where I was. I was handling something.”

“What?!”

“This is not the time to fucking talk about this. You are hurting, and I am the only one you can unleash your grief on.”

I will never admit to him that he is right.

I ignore what he just said, and I wipe away my tears. Stepping into that role of a stone-cold bitch again.

“You have hurt so many people. Isn’t there one thing in your life that you could have done right? Couldn’t you at least love someone so that you can prove that you have a heart?”

“I never stopped loving that person.”

“Your mom would have been so proud of you right n–”

“SHUT UP! I am not talking about my mama, I am talking about you!”

The air has been sucked out of me, and every inch of me goes taut. He didn’t just say that, I am imagining things. Nobody on this beautiful earth can love me, right? Especially not Noa. I have hurt him time and time again.

Since I’m not talking, he continues. “Do you know how frustrating it is that my body aches whenever I am not close to you? My heart is bleeding when I know that I can’t pick up the phone and call you because something nice has happened.”

“Don’t–”

“No!” In two strides, he is standing before me, and his tall figure is towering over mine. “I miss having you in my bed, but it’s not even that I miss the most.”

“What do you miss?” I am hiccuping as my heart is almost ready to give out.

He takes a step back, and I instantly miss his touch.

His heart might be bleeding for me, but mine died the second I walked away from him.

“Your smile in the morning. In my dreams I see your smile, but it’s not enough. That’s why I fucking hate what you did to me.”

“You need to understand that I took revenge for the only person who has ever loved me. My father was everything to me!”

“At least you had a dad you could look up to! Do you know what my father did to me? When I was younger, he would beat me so badly it left bruises. My mother took me to the hospital multiple times because of how badly I was beaten.”

These are the words of the inner child in Noa, and it’s screaming to be held.

It’s screaming for love.

I don’t say anything; I just let him talk.

“Dario was abusive from the moment I was born until the day he disappeared. You were the only good thing left in my life. The one thing I did right. That’s why I can never forgive you for what you did.” He takes a breath and puts his hands on his hips, as if to steady himself. “Dario may have beaten the little kid in me, but you murdered that small child. Your betrayal was worse than taking a bullet from him.”

I want to say something, but he holds his hand up. “There was only one time in my life when I was truly happy, and I can’t remember any of it! Then you came along, and my mind was filled with happiness again.”