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However, none of us moved, trembling and shuddering as our control wavered, until she lifted her hand to my jawline and stroked it.
‘I’m so wet for you, Deacon, and it’s not because we’re in the freakin’ pool.’
I huffed at her hoarse whisper, part in amusement, but also in awe that this scene was even playing out.
I bit my lower lip, unable to find the words.
To my relief, Ana took control.
‘We’ve every reason to abandon caution and fuck right now, but we shouldn’t, because you’ll never trust me. I’m still legally married to Max, and if you and I cross the line, then I’ll be cheating on him regardless of his poor choices. I also don’t want you to think I’m using you as a rebound.’
She had a point, I thought, her logic trickling through my lust-driven haze.
‘I want you so much in this moment, D,’ she whispered, ‘but it’s not what’s best for us in the long run. Because we both won’t get past it given our baggage.’
‘Is that right?’ I drawled.
‘It’ll be a complete mind fuck. I don’t want you believing that I don’t give enough of a shit about you to think twice before sleeping with you while still married to Max. If we ever get together, I must be free of him, and if we’re going to rebuild and have a future, D, it needs a solid foundation. One of commitment, pure loyalty, and clearer boundaries for both of us.
I took a breath, buoyed by wild hope and the sense in her words.
‘Agreed, mama.’
My growl was hoarse, gritty, and laced with desire.
‘I just need time.’
‘I get that.’
She was laying down the rules, and unable to resist, I surrendered.
We fell silent, my arms locked around her waist as we floated together.
‘We probably should go inside,’ I eventually said.
‘Good idea.’
I tugged her to my side as we treaded water to the shallow end.
I carried her out and to the lounge, where we dried off.
With her robe on, I made our way through the quiet of the villa as I helped her to her suite.
After she whispered goodnight and shut her door, I walked away, heart thudding, soul churning.
Still unsure what the road ahead would look like, yet emboldened to keep hoping she’d be mine again one day.
ANA
When Deacon and I first split up, I cried for a long time, on and off, for weeks.
I did it while moving my stuff out of our house, buying a new pad, cooking at the stove, buying groceries, and after putting Raff to sleep at night.
I wailed my way through Nashville, and once, I even sobbed in a clothing boutique until the attendants gave me a box of tissues to take away.
I lost all sense of care for public humiliation.
This time, however, when it came to Max and my split-up, there was none of the tears and weeping.