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Bastien looks up at the rain, and then he scans the scene in front of him. “Levi!” he says.
“Called it,” the strange man says. “Civilians. Not a goddamned umbrella between them.”
“He’s good. You heard him, Lance,” Parker says. “I was telling him that he could take over the empty slot and have it just be an advice hour.”
“Talk Back with Saint-Jacques,” I supply.
“Oh! I like that! It’s catchy.” Parker looks me over, so I march over to Bastien, who is still huddling in the shelter of the radio building. I thrust my umbrella over him, stiff-armed and awkward.
“Parker, Lance,” Bastien says, “this is my…this is Levi,” he corrects awkwardly.
Lance turns back. “Nice meeting you. Parker, let’s get you home and out of those wet clothes.”
“Oh, they’re not wet,” Parker protests. “I practically walked through the raindrops.”
Lance shifts the umbrella back. Bright wet droplets hit Parker’s shirt and head. He looks down in puzzlement as the blue linen darkens. “Why did you do that?” he asks.
Lance slides the umbrella back to cover him, and then cocks his head meaningfully. Parker stares at him for a second, and then his face clears. “Oh,” he says. “Right.” He turns and looks over his shoulder at us. “Dr. S, just consider it. I was only supposed to be filling in for a short time, and I’m running out of things to say.”
“And yet, you have so much,” Lance grumbles, wrapping his arm around Parker’s waist.
Parker colors. “I think we’d, umm…”
“Let’s get you home,” Lance says. “Gentlemen,” he tells us without looking away from Parker as he herds him into the darkness while we stand frozen next to each other.
“Wow,” I say.
“That guy’s got game,” Bastien says.
I put my fist up to bump it and he does without even a second’s hesitation. “Do you think he practiced that or that he’s just naturally smooth?”
“I really hope it was a very well-rehearsed line, or else I pity the rest of us.” He glances up at the umbrella. “Don’t you dare.”
“Well, I can’t now, because it’ll look lame. Anyway, I was wondering if I could walk you to your car. Actually, I wanted to see you.”
His smile vanishes. He studies me. “You okay?”
“Yeah. No.” Now that I’m here, I can’t move. “Actually, can we just walk quietly for a few minutes? I just need to…” Just what? Just be alone and not alone?
Bastien’s handsome brow creases. “If you like.” His tone says, This is strange. “My car is…” He gestures vaguely to the left, but he could have pointed straight to the moon and I would have started walking. I nod and look down at the ground. I can smell petrichor. The rain that had hit my shirt when I was dashing across the campus is drying, and I’m cold. I can feel Bastien’s presence next to me, and when he stops in front of a Honda with Oregon plates, I stare at it because I’m not sure what I’m doing here, or what he’s said.
I look up at him. “What was that?”
“I was asking if you want me to run you back to your dorm.”
I blink at him. He unlocks the driver’s side door and stands there, waiting for my answer.
“I live on Constitution,” I manage.
“Okay.” He gestures to the passenger side door.
I cross and let myself in. His car smells like him. He goes to put his key in the ignition, but I put my hand up. “Can I just sit for two minutes? I just need to pull my thoughts together.”
He puts down the keys and I can hear him turning to face me, but I keep looking straight anyway. The rain has turned the campus ahead of us into an impressionist painting, where everything is indistinct swirls. Only this cocoon of safety is real. I run my hand over the upholstery, trying to absorb some sense of permanency through the plastic.
“Levi,” Bastien says. His voice is soft and very gentle. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. But if something is wrong, and I can help, please tell me.”
“You can’t,” I say. It comes out like a croak, and I think, Please, God, don’t let me break down now. Deep breaths. Take deep breaths. I put my hand to my face. My diaphragm spasms on the air, wrenching my body forward. It’s the only warning I get before my eyes blur.
