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‘You might not, after a while.’
And then it hit her again. For a few seconds she had forgotten what was coming, but it all rushed back.
There would not be an ‘after a while’, not for Max. She felt dizzy; her stomach clenched and her hands shook. She steadied herself against the bed, then fell to her knees.
‘Mummy?’ Max’s voice was alarmed. ‘Mummy?’
‘I’m fine,’ she said, the words little more than a gasp. ‘Just tired.’
He put his face close to hers, looking into her eyes. ‘Mummy?’
‘It’s OK.’ She hugged him to her, holding him tightly. ‘Don’t worry, Max. Mummy— Mummy had a little turn, that’s all. I’ll be OK in a second.’
But she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t ever be OK again.
2
‘Mummy,’ Max said. ‘Can I have a story?’
‘Of course,’ Maggie said. She had no idea what it would be. She barely had the energy to breathe, never mind invent a story. And she was so distracted. All she could think of was what was coming; stories seemed so unimportant.
But they weren’t unimportant to Max, so she had to try.
‘I’m going to tell you about friends,’ she said. ‘Friends are the most important thing – after family – in the world.’
She thought of Chrissie and Fern. Of how they relied on each other, of how secure she’d felt when she was with them. They were a team, and like all good teams, they were much stronger together than the sum of their parts. She smiled at the memory of a boy, Christopher, a few years older who had kept asking Fern to go on dates with her. She said no; they were thirteen and starting to get interested in going on dates with boys, but she didn’t like him. No one really did; he was sullen and aggressive and a bully, and when the kids his own age started to ignore him he turned to the younger ones.
At a school disco he had trapped Fern in a corner and tried to kiss her.
She refused, but he didn’t let her go.
Maggie and Chrissie watched it happen.
What should we do? Maggie said.
We have to help her, Chrissie replied. Come with me.
They walked over and Chrissie tapped the boy on the shoulder. He turned around and scowled.
What do you want? We’re talking, he said.
We want you to get lost, Chrissie said, then shouted. We want you to leave her alone!
A crowd was forming, and Christopher was starting to look uncertain.
You get lost, he said.
He’s a cradle-snatcher! Maggie said. Leave her alone!
There was some laughter, and Christopher’s face flushed. He backed away and walked towards the exit.
‘Why are friends important, Mummy?’ Max said.
Maggie hugged him. ‘Because with friends,’ she said, ‘you can do anything. If you have friends, nothing can hurt you.’
‘Do I have friends, Mummy?’
She pressed her hand to his heart. ‘In there you do,’ she said. ‘In there you have all the friends in the world.’