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The bright-yellow liquid sloshes against the glass as she hands it to me. “The man you are to marry will be here in two days’ time. Your father has worked very hard to ensure this match. So please, for the love of the ravens, start acting like the lady he has promised this man.”
I take a sip, my nose tingling as the sharp sting of oleander hits my tongue. It gets easier the more I drink, smoother as I increase my tolerance. I’m grateful for every sip. Poison is the only legacy of Nocturnus that my mother and I are allowed to indulge in. My father insisted that it was too dangerous for us not to. Father says our enemies will never suspect our immunity to it.
“Mother, why can’t you see my future path? You have told fortunes to the entire town of Raven’s Gate but not your own children. I need to know what this marriage will be like. How will this strange man treat me?” I cry. I’ve already stashed knives in the skirts of all my dresses in preparation for my wedding bed. I will be damned to hell if my new husband thinks he will taste my pussy on the first night.
Her eyes flutter as she downs the rest of her drink before pouring another. My mother has been drinking poison since her wedding night. After my father shared his with her. She fell in love with him in that moment, she said. “It is our way. Casting for our own blood is forbidden.”
“But are you not tempted? What would happen if you just peeked at one of our futures?”
She gasps, her eyes darkening. “Blasphemy. Ruin. You have no idea the devastation that could cause. The casualties who may fall… No. We don’t get to glimpse the fate of our kin. End of discussion.”
I nod, defeated. I’ve asked her this question many times, and she always gives me the same answer in some similar variation. “Who is the man you are selling me to, then?”
Mother rolls her eyes. “Again with the dramatics, Arkana. He’s a wealthy businessman from the North. Your father assured me he is kind and generous.”
I snort. “This is secondhand information, Mother. From someone who met him once in a darkened tavern. How can we even be certain our servant is capable of discerning?”
It’s my mother’s turn to sigh in dramatic fashion. “Your father looked into the servant’s eyes himself. You know his gifts. He can siphon the truth from people. I trust his instincts, and you should too.”
“Perhaps you should’ve gone to meet him. Will you not read this man’s fortune? He is not your blood.”
Her face pales. “No, Arkana, I will not. Do not ask me this again.”
It’s pointless to push her any further. She will make good on her threats and lock me out of the library. When I’m not crawling around in the dark catacombs, that’s the only other place I find solace.
I huff a little quieter as I finish my drink. “May I be excused, Mother?”
She nods, her lips pursed. “Do not bother your father again tonight. While you think you’re being clever, he is always well aware of your presence up in the rafters of the ritual room.”
I stifle a laugh. Of course he is. My father and I have a bond that differs from the one he has with Silas and Finnric. He senses me always. And he’s never scolded me once for spying.
There was only one night, years ago, that I could not find a way in. The main entrance was sealed almost by magic. I was going to look for another way until I heard the screams of a woman. They were muffled and a mixture of pleasure and pain. It sent chills down my spine. It was also a bit arousing, which startled me. What was it about her cries that stirred something primal in myself?
But every cell in my body warned me to stay away. So I did. I knew in my bones that there were unspeakable things happening down there. It was Nocturnus business after all. My parents play with dark matter, and even I know better than to cross the threshold when those types of rituals are happening.
The next day at breakfast, I inquired about it. My father simply replied with “I cannot discuss initiation, my angel.” It was the sternest he’s ever been with me. And then minutes later, it was forgotten, and we were giggling like children again, as thick as thieves.
“Arkana!” my mother hisses, snapping me out of my reverie.
“Yes. I promise I’m going straight to bed.” And I mean it this time. The oleander is starting to make me drowsy, which I’m guessing was my mother’s intention.
“Good. You need your beauty rest. Your betrothed was promised a true prize. If you run yourself ragged, it will ruin everything.”
“Yes, Mother.”
She cups my face. “Don’t mistake my harshness, Arkana. I may not be as jovial as your father, but I love you just the same. I want what’s best for you, daughter. You deserve a life such as the one that your father has given me.”
I nod. “I know, and I’m grateful. Sorry I’ve been such a pill. I’m just anxious.”
She kisses me on the forehead. “I blame your father. He let you have too much independence. The thought of marriage feels like a prison sentence, I’m sure. But I assure you that you can have true happiness. You will learn to love this man. I don’t need my special sight to know this.”
Maybe she’s right. I have been pushing so hard against this I’ve almost made myself sick. I must have faith. My father would never hand me over to a monster.
“Goodnight, Mother.”
The long walk back to my chambers gives me even more time to think. I take deep breaths and say silent prayers to the gods. Please let him be handsome. The thought of having to lie with a man I don’t desire makes me queasy.
“Psst.” Something thumps me on the head.
