Page 41
“So…” Ryan continues. “How was your date last night?”
I sigh. “Strange. But mostly because Ander had no idea it was date. Neither did I at first.”
I rub my face again. I don’t know why I’m telling Ryan any of this. There’s no point. It’s not like this thing with Ander is going to go anywhere. And even if it did, what would that look like? We play for different teams. It’s not like we can date each other. And it’s not like either of us wants to ask for a trade. He loves the Blizzards, and I love the Mules. Even though I’m still fighting with Sofia to finalize my contract extension. It would be the world’s worst long-distance relationship. And that’s without mentioning the conflict of interest that would come about of two players from rival teams dating. Gavin and Connor only narrowly avoided losing their careers on a technicality.
“Stop,” Ryan says. “You’re going to rub your face raw.”
I pull my hands away from my skin. He has a point.
He places his hand on my shoulder, causing me to look at him. “In an ideal situation, and believe me, I get it, nothing about this is ideal. But… if it could be, what would you want from this?”
“I do not know.” I shrug. “Not much. We barely know each other. There is no point in making plan.”
“Just humor me, would you? Because on the level, one gay man to…” He lets his sentence linger.
“Another,” I say and take a deep breath. “Maybe bi. I do not know.”
His face is curious, like he’s studying me. “I don’t mean to pry, but have you ever been with another man before?”
I nod. Quietly I say, “I have never had boyfriend before. But…”
“Fucked,” he supplies for me.
I shake my head. “Messed around.”
“Ah. Okay.” He smiles at me, that curious gaze in his eyes. “And would you like to mess around with Ander?”
At his question my imagination runs wild with thoughts about what it would be like to kiss him. Would his lips be soft or firm? What would his body feel like under my hands as I explored it? Would his muscles be coiled and tight, or would he be pliant and flexible? How would he sound? How does he smell? What does he taste like?
I shift in my seat as my pants have gotten uncomfortably tight in the crotch. I hope Ryan doesn’t notice.
“So that’s a yes,” he says.
“Fuck off.”
He averts his gaze, giving me an opportunity to adjust myself. After a few seconds, he looks back at me. “If I know Ander, he’s probably already planned your next not-a-date. When is it?”
What the fuck? My cheeks are blushing again. “Thanksgiving.”
“In Jersey?” Ryan laughs. “How incredibly romantic. I can see it now. The two of you strolling hand in hand through Newark.”
“New York.”
“Yes. Because that’s much better. Nothing like strolling through trash, bum piss, and cockroaches to set the mood for romance.”
“There is no romance.”
“Not with that attitude there isn’t,” Ryan says. He draws my attention to him again. “Look, I just want you to be happy. And if exploring this with Ander makes you happy, then I support it.”
“I do not know if Ander wants to explore this.”
“Oh, he does,” Ryan says with surety. “Whether or not he realizes it yet is another story. But trust me, I saw the way he looked at you in that Speedo. He is into you as much, if not more, than you are into him. But he’s going to need a lot of help figuring out that you are what he wants.”
“What is your advice?”
“Take it slow. But also, don’t be afraid to hit him over the head with the obvious.”
“What if you are wrong? He does not feel attraction to me?”
