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“Yes, we did,” he says.

“If we did this for you, you would have crosschecked all of us.”

“I would have.” He laughs. “But for you, it’s different. Now lead us out.”

With my stick in my hand, I step forward. I hear the roar of the crowd before I see it. The arena here in Buffalo is always packed. We are easily one of the loudest barns in the league. Known to be one of the hardest places for our opponents to play. Before the puck has even dropped, the fans here in Buffalo are proving why. From the moment I step forward, they let out a deafening cheer.

Finally, I’m able to take a deep breath.

“See,” Connor says, as he skates out behind me. “It’s not so bad.”

He’s right. It’s not so bad at all. I bump into him. “You’re just excited that you and Gavin aren’t alone anymore.”

“You caught me.” Connor laughs as he turns around and skates away. “This has always been my big plan.” He flicks one of the many pucks strewn around and sends it into my open net.

On steady blades I skate to my net to start taking some practice shots from my teammates. But on my way there, I’m distracted by two people standing against the glass. I want nothing more than to crash right through it.

My parents. Front and center waving at me. And yet again, I feel my eyes begin to leak. No matter what I do I just can’t keep myself from crying today. It’s starting to get embarrassing.

With my stick, I flick a puck up into my glove, then fling it over the glass for them. My dad catches it. But it’s not enough. I need more from them right now.

I wave for them to follow me along the boards. It’s too loud for them to hear me giving them instructions. But if I can only get them towards our bench, I can get our equipment manager to let them come around.

“Howie!” I call him over. Then, pointing to my parents, I ask him to bring them onto the bench.

He goes running off to grab them. They come back within minutes.

“Ander! Sweetie!” my mom yells out when she gets there. She reaches over the boards and places her hands on either side of my face.

“You’re here,” I say, still shocked to see them.

“Of course we’re here,” my dad says. “We hopped a flight as quickly as we could. Literally landed less than an hour ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, as my mom pulls me into a hug.

“We thought this would be better,” she says.

She’s right. Showing up. Always. This is what they do. This is how they’ve always been.

My dad pats me on the shoulder. “We’re proud of you, son. Go win this game and afterwards we can go out and celebrate.”

“I’m not sure this is something that deserves your praise,” I say, even though his words have comforted me.

“What we’re proud of is how fearlessly you love,” my mom says. “It doesn’t matter with who. You love loudly. And seeing the way you love Nikolai is what we’ve always hoped for you.”

“You’ve hardly seen us together,” I say. “What do you know about us loving each other?”

My dad lets out a laugh. “You’re a goalie. You see everything except yourself sometimes. But as your parents, we see it all.” He gestures around the stadium. “They’re here for you. Enjoy your night.”

“I will,” I tell him, as Howie comes over to lead them back to their seats. “Howie! Make sure they’re allowed into the locker room after the game, will you?”

“Of course,” he says, as the sound system of the arena starts to notify everyone that warmups are coming to a close.

Despite not really participating, I feel warm and ready. From body to soul.

Nikolai

I check my watch for what must be the one thousandth time. Nine thirty. Ander’s game will be finished any second now.