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My mind went straight back to that night - Nora holding Ivy back because I’d told them to stay there, and Ivy fighting desperately to get to me.

“Don’t blame her, Ivy. She was only doing what I told her. None of it was her fault.” I wiped at my face, my voice breaking. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Do whatever you have to do to feel better. Anything you need, except hurt yourselves or each other. Just… do it.”

A sob escaped me, and I pressed my hand over my mouth until I could speak again. “And then move on. Please. You need to live. Just live.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “For all of us.”

A rustle came from beside the bedroom doors, where Lysa was stirring beneath the blanket on her narrow cot. “My lady, are you awake?”

She slept there every night. Helping me with everything I needed seemed to include staying close even while I slept.

I quickly wiped the last of the tears from my face and cleared my throat. “Yes. I just woke up.”

“Did you sleep well?”

No.

“Very well, actually. Much better than last night.” I pushed myself up and headed for the bathroom before she could look at me too closely. “What about you?”

“Like a little one against her mama’s chest,” she said, following me to the doorway.

I turned on the cold tap and washed my face, hoping the water would hide the signs that I’d spent the morning crying. Her gaze lingered on me before she turned on the shower.

“Your mother has already chosen your gown for the day, my lady. You shall look splendid.”

“Thank you. She does have very good taste, doesn’t she?”

Lysa kept chatting through my shower and the rest of getting ready. She was always happy to fill the silence.

“There, my lady.”

Her voice brought me back to my reflection. She had woven delicate powder-blue ribbons through my braids and arranged them into an intricate updo. The blue dress fitted closely through the bodice, with two broad lengths of fabric crossing over my chest and wrapping behind my neck, leaving my shoulders and arms bare. From the waist, it fell in soft folds to the floor.

Between the gown and what Lysa had done with my hair, the woman staring back at me looked far more put together than I felt.

“Thank you so much.” I smiled at her through the mirror.

“It’s my pleasure, my lady.” Lysa beamed, and a faint sweetness warmed her otherwise muted Beta scent.

I almost offered to help her gather her tools and tidy the dressing table, but the bedroom doors opened and Eleanor walked in with a huge smile.

“Good morning, sweetling. You look lovely.”

“Thank you.” I smiled back. “So do you.”

“Thank you.” She seemed slightly surprised by the compliment, but her smile returned, warmer this time. Her gaze moved to the empty breakfast tray on the bed. “I trust you enjoyed breakfast?”

“It was very good.”

“Good. You’ll need all your energy today.”

“I will?”

She smiled, keeping her eyes on me. “Lysa, you may leave us.”

“Yes, my lady.”

Lysa gathered the last of her things and disappeared through the doors so quickly she could have been the Flash.

Eleanor’s eyes narrowed slightly. “What is it?”