Page 84

He raped me. There's no other word, no kinder way to say it than what it actually is. I tried to let it sink in, that it was me inside that bathroom and not some other girl whose body I hovered over. I pull the hem of the dress further down my thighs, my insides aching from the memory of him lingering. My eyes occasionally flick to the door, and with each glance, the heaviness that weighs down on me returns as I wait to be collected. I know I should stay strong. That I should find hidden strength inside to push through the night; to put what he did inside that tiny fucking box where Hailee's death, John's death, everyone's fucking death sits, and think of a plan. But I don't know if I can. How do I do this? Pretend? Hide behind an invisible mask that tells him I'm his, that I'll comply enough for him to search for my sister? And then what? The guilt waves through, the hair standing on my arms. He brings her here, and she takes half of the pain I'm going through? He claims her like he's claimed me?

I'm selfish, so fucking selfish.

The door opens slightly, and my head almost snaps up to see who's there. Like I didn't already know. But to my surprise, it's someone else. Someone I've never seen before.

"Time to go." His voice is rough, but softer than the rest. His face is tired, older. Hair that would have been dark ten years ago, now flicked with silver.

I hesitate for a moment, not trusting this, but then my shoulders sag as I let out a loud sigh. It's useless, stalling for time when I'm going to be leaving this room regardless. At least this is my choice. To walk. To move. I choose this.

I stand, straightening out the red dress, and take a step towards him. He doesn't rush, he doesn't even speak; he just holds an arm out for me to take. I stare at it for a moment like it's a trap.

"You'll kill yourself trying to walk in those heels. Don't worry, I don't bite." He lets out a brittle laugh, and somehow, I breathe a little easier. I lace my arm around his as we move through the threshold.

"I've never seen you before. Normally, he sends the same guards," I whisper. The black heels pinch against the skin on my ankles, but I welcome it. At least it's distracting me from the throb between my legs.

"I don't normally play babysitter to the girls."

"So what do you do?"

"Other things." He deflects the question, and for some reason, Ace flashes through my mind.

"You remind me of someone." I offer him a small smile as he glances to look at me.

"Yeah?" He lets out the smallest laugh, clearing his throat. "Can't imagine who."

I frown, studying his face. Does he know?

We walk past what Vincent had called the parlour room, my feet already aching from the shoes. The music inside booms around us, laughter flooding out into the hallways. I can't help but wonder how it's possible to find enjoyment within these walls after so much misery happens here, but I guess it's easy if you're the ones inflicting it.

A woman wanders out of the double doors, her eyes lighting up as she spots the man beside me. But her face quickly falls as her gaze connects with mine, and all I see is pity.

"Oh, Adrian…" Her voice breaks, but he doesn't stop walking.

"Not tonight, Lottie." He keeps his tone sharp, but I hear in the nickname there's a history there.

We continue walking through the manor in silence until finally, we reach the main hall. My chest tightens at the sight of him, leaning against the bannister of a set of spiral stairs. His suit is immaculate, the same way it always is. I spot the black tie, the very same he'd used to bound my wrists. A shiver runs through me at the thought, one I push far into the back of my mind. I can't afford to break. Not now, not ever. It wasn't me. It didn't happen to me.

"You look stunning, as always." Vincent's voice is softer this time as he approaches me, his hands finding my waist as he gently kisses my cheek. "Adrian." He nods to the man who escorted me, a smirk sitting solidly on his face. "Have you heard from Ace?"

My heart stops for a second at the sound of his name, and suddenly, I'm far more invested in this conversation.

"No." Adrian's lips stay in a straight line, but I saw the way he jumped at the sound of Ace's name, too.

"Pity. I was hoping to hear how his contract went. I always admire his work, the way he isn't scared to get a little messy." Vincent's hand claps against Adrian's shoulder, which Adrian shakes off instantly. "You did a good job with him."

"Leave him alone." Adrian's jaw tightens, and with it, the atmosphere changes into something that leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

"And miss the chance to get under your skin? Never, old man. Now off you go, Pops, I'm sure there's a whore in the parlour dying to pour you a drink."

Adrian's hands flex at his sides, but his shoulders sag instantly. He turns without another word, muttering something under his breath as he does.

I turn, keeping my eyes on Vincent's face, trying desperately to see a flicker of something human, something real, but there's nothing. And in that moment, it confirms everything I already know: he loves this. Causing people pain, revelling in their misery, and then acting like nothing happened with enough softness, that you're fighting your own mind to decide whether you made it up or not.

"Shall we?" The whites of his teeth show through the smile plastered on his face, his hand wrapped around my waist as he tugs me forward, proving to me that it isn't a request. And with that, we walk out of the doors and into the cold night air.

My eyes fall instantly onto the black limousine sitting out front, the driver waiting patiently by an open door. Vincent doesn't acknowledge him as we slide into the leather seats. His eyes stay fixed on me the whole time.

He hasn't spoken, not really, other than the greeting he gave in the lobby. His silence feels like a noose around my throat as I wait for the words to come, for the threats, or worse, the praise. The feeble attempt to romance me, or the pretence this is something different. I stare out of the window, watching the streetlights fly past, lighting up the night sky.